I looked back at the last paragraph from last year’s post and there I was having some reservations about this year, and boy did it turn out right. Maybe I went in without the right vibes and so things naturally didn’t fall in place, but still that was a bit of an extreme punishment zzz. 

That said, other than the health section that took a hit everything else wasn’t too bad, if I were to be honest so here it goes. 

*********** 

Let’s just start with that section then since it was the one that made or in this year’s case, broke the year. Otherwise I’d still rank this as a solid year overall. Couple of minor ailments over the course of the year, which is rather typical unless we count that week-long diarrhea I had after coming back from an impromptu trip home, presumably food poisoning from Pasar Gadong food (the other candidate was RB in flight meal but I’m more inclined to believe it’s the former) which lowered my immunity such that I fell sick for another week right after. Then of course there’s the big one that I’ve written a long post about. 

Well the good news is that the ordeal is over, or at least I think/felt it is. I left the last post in a state where my liver panel readings are still well above range and there’s a whole series of side ailments arising from my liver’s inability to function properly. Jaundice is okay because that’s just aesthetics (my eyeballs and my entire outlook just appear yellowish). The disturbing one was the persistent itchiness because my body is full of toxins that the liver can’t filter. There’s a good month that I can’t sleep well because like a clockwork I would wake up at around 1-2am every night scratching everywhere and nothing seems to work - soothing lotions and all. And with psoriasis this was a dangerous combo and all that scratching left plenty of new scars which took a while to heal and left behind the new patches of discolorations sigh. The other issue was with bloating restricting food intake - I would discover that dairy products tend to worsen the issue - and the bloating effect usually isn’t instantaneous, for instance I’ll start feeling bloated late afternoon despite not eating anything after a regular lunch. It was just uncomfortable in the end. 

The itching finally went away on the second week of November when I recorded a first night when I slept through the night, and when that happened for a couple more nights consecutively you can imagine my relief. The bloating took another couple of weeks to go away - I touched down in KL for a planned trip and magically I could eat everything on that trip despite overeating a bit (hotel breakfast for instance) and that’s when I felt I’m out of the woods. The numbers did indicate otherwise - the doctor, presumably upon returning from leave, had the nurse call me up for an unscheduled blood test just as the itchiness was fading away and it showed that some of the figures even rebounded a bit, sparking a bit of alarm in me. Because there’s no consultation again (and the doctor also didn’t react) I took matters to my own hand, analyzed my habits and decided to stop the more strenuous activities I.e. running - which I had resumed albeit with lower frequency and intensity - and two weeks later the numbers (taken right after the KL trip) dropped close to borderline normalcy. In my final consultation with doctor the week later he was also cautiously optimistic that I’m out of the woods, except that he asked me to come back one more time after CNY. 

The whole episode put me to a test, I kid you not. In many aspects - be it my knowledge of insurance coverage (which is admittedly not high, I am referring to the knowledge not coverage), crisis management, and emotionally too because for an entire month and half I was in this state of despair and self pity. Take it as a test run in case I run into similar scenarios in future, touchwood.  

Other than that skin issues is just a regular presence not worth mentioning. Physical fitness was going well as in there’s structure to it - I went through a horrible cutting phase, a gleeful bulking phase and just as I was going to start cutting again (which the muscles are supposed to show up nicely after) disaster struck, I lost plenty of weight unwillingly and along with it muscles, and then I gain back the unhealthy way because I was in sort of a revenge eating mode after regaining that capacity. So progress reseted oh well, but I will make up for lost time I guess. 

So may I be blessed with health next year! I’ve suffered enough. 

*********** 

Work! Got shouldered with more responsibility in the shape of another team added to my care, doing more months of free labor ahead of the long awaited official promotion, navigating through a series of HR challenges including internal transfers, poaching, fraud claims, toxic staff, facing tearful appraisal talks and so on. And I feel that next year it’s just more of these. 

The biggest challenge may have been the work itself though, to work under parachutes who has zero respect for the craft nor bothered understanding but insist on forcing a transformation. I get the need to transform and the power of the new data sources but the motivation for transformation didn’t seem right (I am helping you guys make things easier for yourself but did you even try to understand what kind of help we need? Because we seem like some sort of joke to you). 

My only willpower now was to outlast because history tells us parachutes tend to take off again after a short stay but apparently said parachute has asked for an extended stay…probably because she really thinks we needed to be whip into shape sigh. Oh well let’s see what happens next year. Gotta stay tough because if the top crumbles…those below will too. 

************ 

I actually didn’t see this coming but this year felt like my most traveled year. Started the year right and planned ones, impromptu ones, short ones etc all came along. I felt that the Korea trip may have been the standout one because…well it’s solo? And I think I was in my best shape of the year back then. Shanghai was a watershed moment too which led to my acceptance of China as a place that I can return to. KL trips were memorable for the chillax pace and food. GZ was a major relief after a funk during which I couldn’t even bring myself to plan for trips next year and that was a thoroughly depressing thought. HK will always be a firm favorite. 

Next year - had one redemption trip confirmed, another (long) one that I am still desperately trying to make work. KL is still there. The two trips home I already booked. One more group trip in the initial stages of discussion. Maybe a couple of solo trips nearby to leverage long weekends. Maybe work trips? Narrowly escaped one because of a date change which causes it to clash with the Nov KL trip. “Escaped” because of the supposedly time consuming follow ups upon return which I am still a bit on the fence about. Penciled in for one potentially in Jan but if they decide on Feb instead I’m out again. 

But it’ll be another eventful year I hope.

************ 

No progress section next. Enough said. Hahah. 

I mean I tried, but let’s just say…lukewarm response isn’t helping. Then I got bogged down by HepA.

Let’s see again next year shall we? 

*************** 

Hitting the five year mark at my place next year and mayyyybe I should be on the move again. Kidding….I’ll start with fixing my toilet first and other minor works, perhaps the very ignored balcony? 

Car is out of the picture too - came to my senses and understood that it’s really a want instead of a need. That money can be better spent elsewhere (like fitness and travels) until I really develop a need for it. 

**************** 

Can’t wait to get back on track next year. Bring on 2026 already!

So half of the year has gone by. Lots have happened I guess, including the usual suspects - CNY, travels, work, birthday. A couple of maybe unusual suspects which sort of included travels too? But all in all nothing too exhausting. Doing this in point form this time round. 

1. Unlocked a new traveling group (of sorts - basically the usual 3 plus Stel’s sister), and off to HK we go. Covered the details separately but was a good trip. 
2. CNY at home and Bangkok as usual. Pace is getting slower and slower by the year and I think there is just one day each year that we covered a new place (which is usually another shopping mall or night market which Bangkok is no short of). But hopes of maybe another family trip is hanging in balance, more on this later.
3. Promotion came. I ranted quite a bit on this last year so I won’t say much about this because I was adamant that this is late (so my thoughts on this had been posted last year). In fact I told everyone that life goes on because frankly I have been doing this for a while, and I even added a third team under my care since the beginning of the year, so there was literally none of those added workload thrill/panic. Other than the fact that I am now looped into more emails that I previously have no sight of. And also forking out a rather significant part of the eventual division promotees lunch being the highest ranked promotee of the year. 
4. Taipei was a surprise. In fact it got me thinking that such short weekend trips are very feasible (even if they are a tad tiring because I usually go for early flights to the destination and late flights back, and the next morning I’m back in office or something), I’m also at a point in life where such spendings are comfortable, and I don’t mind returning to these North Asian cities often because I genuinely liked each of them for different reasons. 
5. Korea was the first designated long trip of the year (even then it was just 5days leave) and it was actually my first solo trip in a while (not counting KL), which was a bit surprising. Pair it with two excellent flights which is now part of the fun for me and you have a very enjoyable trip. Still much left to do (and eat) there and I am hoping to return not as a solo trip the next round. 
6. Meanwhile back home the family were forced to make changes, coz landlord is taking back the house and much like what I did a few years back, finally the sister bought her first property. Honestly don’t know why it took that long (haha actually I guess I do, guess who I took after). But they were in a rush to get it ready, would have gone back to help but I had Taipei and Seoul lined up so I ended up redeeming two economy tickets (with the help of Spontaneous Escapes) to make a surprise trip home over Good Friday weekend, by then they had completed the move so the idea was just to break in my new bed and room. It ended up more than that because one fine day the madam missed the last step while coming down from upstairs and ended with an injured hip which eventually required a hip replacement surgery. And I happened to be back during the first week after her fall and she hadn’t registered the seriousness yet, but at least I get to see her for a bit and helped out a bit. She’s better now but with old folks sometimes it just take a bit of injury for them to transform into a frail state and you can see the wind go out of her, which I was quite sad about knowing there’s nothing much I can do about life. Maybe it will finally force us to confront the fact that these two are really getting on the years and we need to think of long term caregiving strategies. 
7. KL solo trip in May. KL is now my 后花园 too and I make it a point to go at least twice a year, mainly because I wanted to check in and make sure a friend doing okay. Otherwise the food, the prices, what’s there to not like about it? 
8. Shanghai trip represented my first foray into mainland China. Will cover this and the motivation for the trip in a post trip reflection post (which will be backdated, hahaha) but very thankful for the last minute travel partner and while his antics are annoying sometimes lol no love lost and my attention is shifted to other Chinese cities now. 
9. 6x6=36 and into the second half of the thirties I go. Closer to the big 40 as compared to 30 which sparked a whole lot of changes for me at that time. Nothing dramatic this time round though still no idea how life will turned out, nor do I have it all planned out so we will just have to wing it. 

Second half of the year will still be filled with travels, and I also wonder if work will be slightly different. Because I have been getting hints that it may. And maybe making a move.

Cliche but yes the year zoomed past, once again. Overall there wasn’t really any life milestones other than the fact that I am now halfway through my 30s, which in itself was a minor jolt to me - it always feels like we lost three years to Covid. I wasn’t as sentimental this time round, maybe a bit resigned, but I like to think that I am mostly living in the moment and not thinking much about what’s to come. Which may not necessarily be a bad thing I guess. 

So what else happened?

************ 

Work, well. March came and I was sorely disappointed. Angry, even. For about a month and maybe a bit more I had trouble concealing this (which probably wasn’t wise), and I did seriously consider just leaving it all behind. But as always with time the feelings dissipated, I got busy and before I know it I was slaving away again doing free labor. The damage was done though, and motivation wasn’t great for the rest of the year - I am definitely not proud of the effort I put into a couple of projects that I was tasked with. I was promised greater things next year but I have been restraining myself from even holding out hope - perhaps wary that my performance this year was not deserving of it. 

Here’s hoping that I can magically turn things around in the new year and restore that motivation, because as it stands, there are even more people looking up to me now and I always believe in setting an example. 

************ 

This is one of my favorite sections to write and especially this year because very early on, I had the entire year all planned out and even with that, I managed to add in a couple of impromptu ones, including one that I hope I never ever had to repeat. 

Leading the highlights was the finally revived Switzerland trip, along with the Suites flight. Miles game bearing its first significant fruit (I only claimed one Business flight last year to burn expiring miles, and boy what a good starter it was). And minimal regrets aside, it was hell of a good trip and I’d do it all over again. And frankly which trip wasn’t good?

In other news, made 4 trips to KL in total this year, reinforcing the idea that it was a great location for an affordable weekend getaway. Hong Kong I planned last year too and I had a good time pigging out there (and will do it again tomorrow lol). Bali with the BFFs is a rare one that made it out of a group chat and any time spent with these 4 is always something I cherish a lot. And of course the two standard trips back home. 

Had more redemptions secured for next year and even after I redeemed them…miles balance is still pretty healthy so expect more to come hehehe. Only limit is leave days I guess, and I would want to start expanding my horizon to other frequent flyer programs too. 

********** 

The wellness section, well there is sort of an update in that I have engaged a PT and is actively going for regular sessions. I suppose there’s progress in that I can lift a lot more than what I was able to at the beginning, although I don’t feel that it is showing much yet. Maybe that’s just because I don’t take pics and compare often, but I do have plans to get started on a strict diet regime to force those muscles to show lol. Had a small taste of this throughout the year trying to figure out what works best - tried nutrition plans which are costly and while enjoyable at first, I got bored of it and would probably not go back to it. Self prepared meals seemed to be the way to go and the goal is to get in decent shape before my next (bigger) trip messes things up - so I have sort of a 2 month window to try to get into a consistent habit. 

Skin wise, nothing to update but at my last visit doctor asked me if I want to consider biologics which…I think I will think about it. 

And the other health episode I had which was the colonoscopy to verify that everything is indeed okay, but that had me slightly worried for a while. Though I did fall sick a few times in the second half of the year which was kind of out of the norm, and I wondered for a while what contributed to it. I don’t know of course, but hopefully body stays strong. 

************ 

What I was a bit conscious of though, is the fact that I have been spending more than usual this year - multiple concerts, multiple impromptu trips, and the PT sessions actually do cost quite a bit. Throughout the year I was occasionally fighting off temptations to buy a car but logic (and wallet) took over and I reasoned that it really wasn’t a need. What I do want to do next year though, is to finally go through the master bedroom toilet makeover which was overdue, and the water logging issues underneath the tiles are getting worse so I think that’s forcing my hand. 

******* 

Social life. What social life? Hahahah. 

Section that I always say maybe next year is the year but it never happens. Had a couple of friends who are trying to pull strings but let’s just say…I don’t really know how to do this. 

So just let nature (and fate) take its course, I guess. 

********* 

Ok so that’s about it for 2024! Frankly I have some reservations about next year because of the whole 本命年 thing but, come what may. Things will work out.

Technically it’s only three options because I was already going for my nice holiday no matter what (the bonus was just gonna be an offset), and I ended up going for PT. Toilet, ehhh I think it can survive another year (together with balcony maybe). Car, very nearly went for that too but a moment of indecisiveness, the great promotion (car show) has passed and with it the fire as well hahah. So PT it is. 

Been wanting to do this, but the only thing holding me back was whether it is something I really needed or not. It’s the natural next step for me ever since I lost weight, so I have been training on my own but haven’t been making much progress despite a couple of years of regular forays to the gym. By regular I meant almost daily (although half of it are maybe cardio coz there was pressure to maintain weight with my kind of diet), but I was sure I had problems with form, and I definitely was plateauing in terms of the weights I can manage for the types of exercises I was doing. There was also probably lack of structure in the way I train too. So with an eye on making my efforts worthwhile (otherwise there doesn’t seem to be a point going to gym), I thought it’s time to get professional help. And if it comes together with a diet plan or it can help to enforce some discipline on that front, that would be ideal. 

Did some research. Literally some only, because to be honest, it got tiring after a while - literally everybody has good reviews. And basically nobody listed their prices online. All I had was some sort of range. But most people offer a trial or a chat of some sort and so I picked a few that regularly shows up on my IG ads (and looked impressive, based on the results of the clients they showcased though of course it was very cherry-picked) to set up some first chats. 

So after a couple of chats, more or less got an idea of what to expect. The first one was a chat followed by an actual training session with the prospective trainer, while the second one was a chat with what appeared to be an admin staff behind the counter (was a bit taken aback when he stepped out to conduct the chat) who asked a million questions, and the third one was a chat with the founder of the gym whose hard sell attitude rubbed me off the wrong way (“I am going to make you a offer, the moment you step out of this door to take some time to consider then the deal is off”). 

All things considered I think the second one is more well rounded. The first one was earnest but is more strength focused rather than say, obsessing on stats like body fat percentage. Let’s not talk about the third one hahah. But one thing for sure - diet is still up to your own discipline - “you can text your trainer on where you are at and show him the options, and he can give some advice and how best to make do with what you have like chicken rice without skin on the chicken and no sauces” like huh I think I can do that myself. So there’s no value add to the higher price charged by the second one, and they do say first impression counts so I settled for the first one (because I felt my entire body ache after the first free training session which I take it to be a good sign). 

So it’s a 12 session beginner package for $120 each. Each session was an hour (which was something I forgot to ask prior, felt it was shorter than what I wanted it to be but I guess it was more tiring than my own training sessions each time). My thinking was to squeeze as much knowledge as I could out of these 12 sessions so that I can go on and train on my own subsequently, but as it turns out actually the equipment in my gym really aren’t super optimal (probably explains why I haven’t made much progress), and I feel like having a trainer (or actually maybe just a training partner which, let’s face it, I’m not having one anytime soon) really helps. 

I think trainer was also trying to gauge my level in the first few sessions so there were some exercises that I tried and never got to do again (weighted pull ups, yikes, I made some but boy it wasn’t pretty) and we sort of settled into a routine which makes it easier for me to track my progress I guess. It does make me happy to see progress which I am told is solid. So by the time the 12 sessions ended and I was asked if I would like to continue - without the beginners promo which made the price a lot steeper - I still said yes fml. *money flies emoji* 

And so as it stands, we are one third past the 30+3 session package (yes, 30) which I signed up for. Body shape wise I think I see some changes to my back? And maybe chest? But what I didn’t do from the beginning was to take a before photo so I couldn’t quite compare. And diet front, hmm let’s just say discipline is still sort of lacking so the belly is still there oops. On that topic, I did look up and signed up for a meal plan but I think the price is a bit steep so I don’t feel like I will be doing it very often, even if it was yummier than I thought it would be but I realized the menu repeats every month so it’s getting boring. And I do like my lunch interactions with colleagues despite my I personality. 

So I have about 20 sessions or 10 weeks to consider again if this is gonna continue further. I guess we do have to see what progress we are at by then. Honestly it would have been an easy way out considering that I really don’t think I wanna do this alone in a public gym and my 社恐 tendencies (which, if I may add, I am still not at comfortable casual terms with my trainer and basically my rest times are mostly in silence or we are discussing technical stuff). But the price is a huge consideration if I were to do this in long term, unless I sign up for a gym membership to bring down cost and bring him along (because he doesn’t exclusively work for this gym). 

But maybe let’s worry about it when time comes.

First there’s that urgent/impromptu trip up to KL to support a friend in need. I still am not sure how to put this down in words because…I still don’t quite understand what happened? All I know is that I needed to be there to make sure she is okay, because at some point during the week I feared that we had lost her forever. Distance apart and the fact that her family is scrambling to attend to it (and thus don’t have time for us) meant that news were trickling in and we had to try to find other news sources, piece together what happened, and desperation grew. In the end she’s fine, came to terms with her loss, and seems eager to move on. But I’ll never forget that surreal feeling of fearing for a close one’s life (even though as we found out later, she was never actually in any danger). 

Then came back from KL right into work appraisal session, on the same day. Teams are fine, almost everybody took their news rationally (some admittedly good news, so I don’t see why they should complain) and the one that didn’t, I thought I dealt with it fine. Maybe playing the pity card worked, which brings me to the next point of why I even had a pity card to begin with. 

I have been saying for years that I put my team(s) up front and I didn’t mind my own score, so long that I am satisfied with what I have done. I have been chanting the mantra that it’s totally fine if bosses don’t see it, so long I have done what is right. That tune has been growing weaker with each passing year and this year I completely lost it. 

To be fair, it was a good score. It couldn’t have been better, actually. But the focus was all wrong. I would so gladly trade the score for a grade promotion, because I very clearly felt that I belonged there. All the work I have done this year is of that level. My peers have been there for years. Within my division I have been overtaken even. But while HR’s goal posts shifted, boss’ ones haven’t. To be told that I have done nothing wrong and even excelled (and hence deserved that score), but am just not old enough - quite literally - was such a bitter and discouraging blow. I sort of saw this coming to be honest (re my post last year), but being through the year I had got my hopes up and so the blow ended up to be pretty heavy. And I felt like everybody saw my bruises. 

I am now supposed to build up my profile for a potential chance next year. Was that not what I have been doing? To make things worse, HR shifted goal posts for my juniors too so right now, I am expected to do more than them while sharing the same grade/title, while having the extra task of “building up my profile” as if doing more than them is not an automatic ticket. This is the shortest possible end of a stick. 

I was running through so many different scenarios in my head since last week and most of them involve leaving this all behind, and moving on, elsewhere. I had to dig really deep to remind myself of my cause, just to get through the week. Friday morning I basically sat and stare at my laptop screen for an hour just watching the email numbers go up and wondering why I do this. I don’t always see eye to eye with my boss(es) on issues and that’s professional and fine, but I felt like this obsession on age maturity crossed a personal line - even if it doesn’t happen to me, it’s gonna happen on someone else and possibly in my team, and I felt like I won’t be able to deal with it again.  

Second week after the news was a bit better, but I haven’t shaken off those thoughts and looks like I will be on the lookout. Who knew? Though it’s also equally possible that I distract myself with life and procrastinate on this front. Hahaha.

Did a check and wow I have been writing this since 2012, which was the year I started working. Didn’t feel like it has been that long tbh. Brb imma add a tag to all of these posts coz they are growing in numbers. 

Honestly this year passed by in a flash. Partly because work has been busy, also partly that I have things to look forward to and countdown quite regularly. For instance I would be like “oh, 50 days left to my next holiday” and after I come back from said holiday, I would be like “oh, 50 days left to my NEXT break” which certainly kept me sane. And I am so grateful for that. 

****************** 

Starting with work as usual. And oh how fast the year passed by. 

I remember counting down every month during my two year stint in Planning and in stark contrast, one and half year back here passed by effortlessly (the time passing, not the work which was the opposite of effortless). 

Right off the bat I had fires to fight this year, and said fire lasted for about an entire quarter, then another one started just as the first one faded away. It all turned out well in the end, but the process was certainly energy sapping like never before. Then there were also these couple of times when I was part of the receiving end of unpleasant dressdowns from two different bosses, which was certainly new to me and was downright demoralizing. 

I certainly felt like I am missing a step or two sometimes. I felt like I have maintained my usual standards of guiding, advising, coaching, decision making, even with a bigger team(s) now as compared to the past and I think I have earned their respect. I thought I have settled down well. But could I have been more watchful, focus on more correct things? I looked back at the couple of episodes that blew up (and a few others that could have blown up) and I did think that I could have done more. 

Last year I thought that this redesignation was long overdue and I was more than ready to step into this role. At multiple occasions this year I think I was ready to step up again because I was comparing to my peers, and those who have overtaken me. Are these missteps then an indication that I am not ready for bigger things? But it’s not my fault that goal posts got shifted and I am wary that I may be stuck again as a result, which was not pleasant. 

I did deliver an important project this year so I hope that counts for something (even if it doesn’t seem like I am being blamed for the delay…yet). If nothing happens next year…well, I think I need to remember my 初衷 though it’s getting harder and harder with each passing year. 

Fingers crossed for a better year! 

****************** 

We have officially stepped into post-COVID era, or rather an era where COVID has been normalized because it is still very well and alive (by the way, I maintain the belief that the initial lockdowns were not an overreaction, though the pace at which the Asian world normalises is). Which meant travels resumed in full force and I, for one, couldn’t be more glad. 

I haven’t revived my ill-fated Switzerland trip from 2020, but I opted for multiple short(er) trips this year, and somehow they are all clustered around Eastern Asia - Japan, Seoul and Taipei. And there’s the usual Bangkok and home of course. 

I thoroughly enjoyed all of them. Like I said in the earlier part of the posts they were so important in playing a role to keep me sane. I remembered my boss randomly checking in on my mental health (it was really random because it was as if he was trying to find a topic which was sort of not about work to talk about during a long cab ride to a meeting with SA) and I told him I am doing ok, just need regular breaks. Japan and Seoul were solo trips, Taipei was a mixture of both family and solo trip. In particular Japan was my first solo trip since what, 2019 Melbourne? And it reminded me so much about why I missed such trips. Strictly speaking all of these three cities I have visited before and some of the spots I revisited this time round too, but still managed to find new experiences. Bangkok and home trips were a much welcomed resumption of our familial traditions. Though I don’t get to spend as much time at home this year as compared to the last two COVID years which was such an irony, but parents and sister do get to visit me now so I guess that cancels it out. 

And for the first time I had lined up and booked my tickets for all my trips next year even before this year ended, even the trips back home, and I can’t wait for them - especially the epic October/November one. All the miles collection finally being put into (very) good use. 

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Work stress (what an excuse) meant that I put back a fair bit of weight though I think (or hoped) that a fair bit of it is muscle weight because I think visually I can see some difference, though at the rate I was eating (and binge eating sometimes) mean that it wasn’t obvious at all. I do feel like I want to get some help and I feel motivated to though procrastination is still winning over for now. But I am hitting the next milestone next year - 35 - so that sounded like another good time to start something different, similar to how I started my exercise regime when I hit 30. Let’s do this. 

Skin issues are still there, still under control although I find myself needing my oral meds at the beginning of the year to bring it down. Still trying to get rid of the discoloration which wasn’t working well so might just ask my doc in my upcoming appointment - I had initially convinced him that I only need to see him once a year but I chickened out in the end coz I spotted these couple of patches appearing - not like my usual psoriasis patches but these are just rashes that appear whenever my body heats up after exercising, and fade off once I cooled down so I wanted to know what exactly are those or would they mutate into something more sinister. So fingers crossed too. 

COVID found its way to me for a second time too (and perhaps a third time, even though I didn’t test that time but it felt suspiciously like it) and it was so mild that I was really surprised when the second line appeared, but it came at an inconvenient time (or not) that I had to bail out of a presentation. But I had a few episodes of minor ailments throughout the year which usually don’t get too serious but took a while to recover fully from, and that was certainly out of the norm for me. Wonder why. 

But like I said, body isn’t getting younger so really needed to take good care of it. 

***************** 

The last section of this review is always the one that sees no progress. Unfortunately that remained the case this year, even if I started the year feeling, dare I say, somewhat hopeful of a change this year. But lack of action on my part meant that you are now reading a very boring paragraph bye. 

Yeah. We’ll see. 

****************** 

There are some goals next year, work wise and others. We’ll see if they materialize. To a better 2024!

Annoyed me to no end that I had to give PE a miss. 

What really did it for me was the fact that it literally happened less than 12 hours after I left the country.  

Contemplated changing dates, half contemplated redeeming miles just for a day trip back but neither made sense. 

Not fated then. 

But otherwise, home trip was sort of underwhelming? 

Was looking forward to resting, sort out some work thoughts. 

Because ever since I got back to my division I felt like I wasn’t the same person. 

Missing a step here and there and getting roasted far too often for my liking. 

So I felt the need to pause, think through and organize. 

But in the end obligations took up far too much time. 

I forgot how intensive it can get. 

I envisioned pockets of free time to go cafe hop, run even, because I got back early enough. 

But as it turns out, I barely had time to meet the two BFFs, let alone me time. 

And before I knew it holidays are over. 

I did say last year that after that month long break, I think it will be hard to top that. 

How true that turned out to be. 

But it’s okay, it is what it is. 

Am still happy to be home, to see familiar faces, sights and sounds. 

Let’s hope the next trip yields more rest.

You know what, I was actually disappointed this time round. Like, I really wanted that promotion, and to be told that rules of the game has changed which meant that it will probably be years (barring any more rule changes) before I am getting that promotion..stings. 

It stung because had I not chose to venture out..I probably would have made it a couple of years ago. Instead, goalposts shifted, and now I’ll be stuck for a bit. Boss still had the cheek to tell me that age wise I had already achieved more than my peers and I was like, no. I had peers from other groups who had been one grade higher for ages.

I did console myself a bit in that I didn’t entirely believe my performance last year warranted it either…but it’s more of the realization that even if I did my best this year, I’d still be deemed as “ineligible”…and that just made it a bit less motivating. Not to mention that I am pretty sure I’d be penalized for the delay in some work (fine that’s entirely my fault) so that’s a double whammy. 

Though as I was typing this out I felt like I got over it already hahah. But I think over the course of the year it’d be a repeated process of such feelings resurfacing, me sighing and then getting over it. They really had me at a stage where they can afford to shortchange me knowing that I probably wouldn’t complain or threaten to move damnit.  

Oh well. They are right. It’s not my character to be too bothered about it because as I have always said…I’d do what I can and if it’s not good enough, so be it. 

The other part of this is releasing staffs scores which I hadn’t done in a while, two years to be exact. More people to release scores to even if strictly speaking it wasn’t me who fought for most of them coz by the time I came in last year, bulk of their work (or sins) had been done..but as always this is a time to look forward rather than dwell on the past. So for the most part it went well, those who didn’t score well took it in their stride and that made my job a lot easier, thank Buddha. But hopefully they all measure up next year or else. 

Let’s see what happens next year!

Felt like this year similarly flew by. Suddenly we are into our third year of living with COVID, and thank goodness many aspects of life have finally returned to somewhat pre-COVID normal. There was some sort of warning that this entire thing will last 3 years and at that time I sort of laughed it off but look where we are now. 

So this year is all about adapting again. Be it adapting to something of a mixture between old and new normal, and also adapting to changes to work again. 

 

******* 

Why, I shall start with work again. Because realistically this has been a year of two halves. 

The first half of the year I was basically counting down to end of June. No heart to stay on at all. It really wasn’t a bad job scope or role, but familiarity won over and I really just thought I didn’t want to spend another 5-10 years building up that sense from scratch, at least not at this age. There is also this sense of being an outsider all this time, not being appreciated, so I made up my mind pretty early on. There is a tinge of regret for not making full use of the stint, not forging closer relationships, but it is what it is. 

That said, there was still plenty to do in the first half of the year - secretariat role, TMP in end April and after that was basically tying up loose ends, and went off to my long break. 

Coming back to TSDD, I definitely felt that I settled down way faster than I think I would. Sometimes it almost felt like I never left because everything felt familiar. Found my groove pretty quickly. But these are the technical aspects of the work - the people management part of it posed brand new challenges. Unfamiliar faces in the team - this is basically a team hastily put together in response to the spree of resignations throughout the past couple of years and I think I am still working out things, enduring a couple of drama episodes along the way which I never had to deal with in the past. I suppose I am as unfamiliar to them as they are to me, so it’s probably gonna take a while to gel. Oh well. Part of the game. 

Then there was the redesignation which could have happened rightaway, but I guess I’m not complaining. I do feel like it’s where I belong though, which was a confidence that I didn’t have two years ago. The role definitely meant more responsibilities, I don’t know if it meant higher expectations but as usual I am just gonna do my thing and if I turns out well, good for me. The important thing is just to never lose sight of your purpose, and to do the right thing, and that shall continue to be the mantra going forward. 

****** 

Traveling has resumed! Many steps along the way starting from VTL, then the multiple testings, but eventually everything got scrapped. By the time July came around I was able to go for my month long break without needing to worry too much about restrictions, though there remain the odd ones like insurance and declarations, which got done away eventually too.

But the break. I must dedicate one section to this alone because it was such an important one. It was the longest I have ever been away from home (1.5 years), because I decided to skip CNY this year owing to work commitments and travel restrictions, so I was really looking forward to it. It was also my longest break ever, and it allowed me to reset, it definitely helped me when I got back to work a month later because I went in with a refreshed mind, and it literally is a once in a lifetime thing unless I switch jobs. But I had a blast at home, snucked in a trip within trip to KK with the homies, without having to worry about work at all. At this rate I am going to have high expectations of my future holidays hahah. 

Though that also meant I couldn’t take long travel trips for the rest of the year because I burnt all my leave for this break (well I could, but I prefer to save those for next year) and watched everybody else travel as the world opens up. Did manage a short Phuket trip with the Brunei duo which was as relaxing as it can get, though it came with its own set of drama no thanks to an untimely COVID infection. 

Next year! Barring any resurfacing of restrictions (touchwood), I already have a few plans up my sleeves, and hoping to execute them. 

********

Fitness, I think I made some inroads? Gym at my new place is better equipped than the previous one so that meant more effective workouts. Weight wise I have gained back a bit, though I hoped it’s mostly muscle weight coz I still can fit into my size S shirts (though not as comfy). I guess my biggest achievement is being able to do a pull up, finally. I focused on doing all the groundwork beforehand and when I finally attempted and executed one, I was a bit stunned that it happened and wasn’t sure if it counted haha. But confirmed it soon enough and I have since progressed to 4-5 pull ups hahaha. 

I do think the entire year’s worth of work has some results, in a sense that I am now stronger, but body shape isn’t really what I hoped it would be by the end of the year. PT next year? Hahaha. Gotta think through if this is really what I need. 

Skin wise I think it worsened a bit, with some new patches though if I were to be honest, I wasn’t super religious about my cream regiment. Stopped oral meds some time last year to go for vaccination and never resumed it, so it may have played the role a bit. Spoke to doc a couple of days ago and I’d probably resume it to help control a bit, but otherwise, not a major concern.

And COVID. Finally caught it, and it wasn’t fun for a couple of days, but pulled through. 

********* 

Settled down in my new place for a year now. Still pretty happy with how it turned out, though there are some things I have procrastinated for a while which I would probably need to work on now - like revamping my master toilet which is showing signs of needing repairs - the tiles looked like they are about to crack, suspect that it wasn’t tiled properly and water seeped in somewhere and accumulated, expanded etc. And I never got around to doing up my balcony properly. Always thought it’s an element that I can maybe work on later, maybe with someone else hahahah but oh well. 

Definitely not getting any younger. I remember the time when I was all anxious about turning 30 but I am now approaching 35 even and….ha ha. I mean I have no doubts that I can survive on my own, I do enjoy the freedom of it all and I am independent that way, so it’s never something that I want to force to happen. But it still doesn’t hurt to have someone to share it all with you I guess, especially when you are down with COVID lol. Which was something that didn’t occur to me often because in the first place I was generally blessed with good health and don’t fall sick often to have these thoughts surfacing. 

随缘.

********

All in all, not a bad year again. But always room for improvement. To a better 2023!

Couple of differences from the last time - first of all, wasn’t super emo about it. The excitement of starting a new job (sort of) kind of overpowers any lingering sadness from the end of my holidays. It’s weird, I didn’t see that coming at all, but not that I am complaining. And didn’t feel like my path back home will be blocked by anything now that boundaries are mostly open so maybe that helps. 

And secondly, the expected heavy workload hasn’t quite happen yet. I think the team is mostly still getting used to the fact that they now have a DyM that they haven’t been approaching much, so that means I do have a bit free time on hand. And my first impression (though touchwood) is that they have kind of played up their workload and this area size is now at most two thirds of what I used to handle, minus the R*G portfolio to boot so let’s just hope this means good things, at least for a couple of months until higher appointment hopefully happens and I get shouldered with more stuff. 

Although politics are more than what I remembered sheesh. Within the first hour I stepped into office I was already cornered by two separate groups who had been waiting for me to come back to complain to me about stuff. 

But overall, this reinforced the idea that I took my break at the perfect timing. The fact that I was able to slowly ease my way back to work life this time round, that is. Contrast to last year when I went from 0 to 100 pretty quickly because there’s tonnnes of work waiting for me to come back to attend to, and I crashed within a week lol - I remembered breaking down while doing dishes of all things hahaha (yea I can laugh now). 

So far I still feel refreshed, mentally at least (coz I don’t think I have been getting as much sleep as I wanted). I think that was especially pronounced on my first few days back at work because the energy shone through and everyone commented on it lol. And enjoying finding different groups to catch up over lunch on different days, because everybody now has a different WFO schedule and we’d have to coordinate a bit. There is however a bit of 人事已非 feeling though, because many of those I am closer with has left and I do have to watch what I am speaking quite often. 

Oh well. It’s not going to be all rosy anyway. Just gotta embrace it. 

Let’s see if the next update is going to be as positive. Hahaha.

Obligatory because…I don’t really feel much about it? Definitely didn’t feel super sentimental about it, nor, as I shared in the previous post, any sort of regrets or excitement. Hence this post only came about a whole week after the end of posting (and actually maybe it’s also because I didn’t have time to write anything coz I was preparing to go home, or that I was still clearing work all the way till the eve of my final day). 

Not sure if the indifference this time round was because of the fact that I spent only two years there, and like 95% of the time was spent at home. Towards the end we did get to go office and interact for a bit like, once a week. Which I find that they are obviously a cheerful and fun lot to be around with, so I guess there was that tinge of regret there. But not enough to make me, you know, go all out to write thank you cards and all like what I did the last time round, and not enough for me to get farewell gifts or anything (though I did get one clumsily organized farewell lunch hahah). 

So reflections! I set upon this posting hoping that I gain some insights into their work, because we have been working closely with them and it’s not a completely different field for me. So wanted to understand why some decisions were made, maybe steal a trade secret or two along the way hahah. In the end I guess I didn’t find out too many new things other than some processes which is helpful in some ways. Found that they also winged some things which we thought they knew lol. 

The other half of it is that I hoped to bring my experience over to help them make smarter decisions upfront, because we always maintained that operational concerns needed to be taken care upfront during planning and design stages. But I was disappointed to find that they weren’t super open to that most of the time, and I didn’t try super hard to convince them as a result. So I didn’t think I contributed too much on that front in the end, even though D (perhaps just for show) said they learnt a lot from me. 

It maybe didn’t help that I didn’t feel very motivated at all for the most part of these two years. Maybe it was the whole Covid and WFH problem, and I suffered from panic attacks from time to time over the smallest issues, sitting on cases that I can easily clear. Not proud of it. There was a time when I felt motivated and hopeful when D told me about her grand plans for me, which eventually didn’t happen because of circumstances like colleague resigning and she also blamed it on WFH, though I don’t think I bought it wholeheartedly but I didn’t want to delve further. 

I also started out by declaring that I would love to start from bottom up, but the “up” part never happened - I didn’t know if they alr had their mind set to begin with, or at any rate I just didn’t impress enough to warrant one. It would have been helpful to break into the upper ranks just so I can have a clearer understanding of why decisions from the top were made, but alas. 

On a similar note, it represented a big change in that instead of giving instructions, I now have to take instructions and execute. Which was pretty massive in that I was so used to giving instructions, sending out assessments on my own, and now I have to do the complete opposite. It really killed me to have the simplest emails vetted to that kind of detail, so I ended up not keeping them in the loop for simpler cases because I felt that it’s something I can decide on my own rather than wait for clearance (which can take days). Tested this approach and didn’t get told off, so I went ahead with it. Least I can do to salvage some efficiency. 

I did try to highlight that this whole email vetting approach wasn’t entirely necessary during my exit chat with DD (which started at 5.50pm on my final day, typical of her to not be able to set aside time in advance for such admin matters), but she didn’t seem to think it’s an issue and in fact doubled down on the necessity oh well. D on the other hand even pointed it as something she thought I needed to improve on when I asked for feedback on my performance (double sigh). 

Oh well. It’s good to be exposed to a different style of work and management I guess, and going back to working level reminded me of the hardships and it can only help me to not repeat those when I go back to a middle management role. It’s one positive I took away from this stint. That, and the fact that these two years have largely been a holiday of sorts in terms of intensity, which I had to adjust back when I return. 

It’s weird that I sounded like I am looking forward to return though, considering everything that I’ll land myself in. The truth is I couldn’t wait for a change at the end of the two years (side note, someone did try to poach me but no thanks, I am not spending more time doing planning work as a working level planner, why would I?). I came to a conclusion that stepping out of comfort zone is not for everybody, and it’s perfectly ok to want to stay in it. That said, it is probably easier to say this while typing out this post on a vacation, so I may have to eat my words later but we shall see about that. 

In all, fruitful two years, despite everything. Grateful for the experience, despite everything.

For now - my in-between-jobs break which I didn’t get to enjoy the last time round. Can’t think of a better place to do that!

I think I started getting into this mood, actually, back in March, when colleague came back from maternity leave and she was the one designated to take over my duties after I am gone…and so I was told to start passing some work over. Kind of early, and actually at that point HR hadn’t even tabled my posting for approval? It almost felt like they can’t wait to get rid of me, or the positive thinking is that they knew they had no chance so they wanted to give a longer runway for transition. 

In hindsight, I think it’s because I told my boss back in Jan that my plan is still to return because that job scope is still what I prefer. So they respected that. It’s something that I don’t think I am regretting, but maybe there’s a psycho part of me that wanted them to fight each other for me hahaha.

Kidding. Like I said, no regrets (at least not yet, since I haven’t returned), and events of the past couple months only seek to reinforce that. Honestly it’s a bit of dejavu from two years ago because I similarly spent the last two months back then whining and finding fault with everything, that help convinced me it’s time for a change. The only difference is that if I were to pen an article this time round about what I will miss, it would probably not be very long, because I genuinely don’t think I would be very happy to stay. I do get a feeling that I didn’t make full use of my stay though, and wondered if I should have been more proactive to ask for the exposure that was promised to me and subsequently sat on and forgotten (or on purpose). But it is what it is. 

Returning to a familiar post, but at the same time it would be a very diff landscape and from early indications, seems like I might have 自我感觉良好 because unless it’s a typo/error on HR’s part, it wasn’t the post I was expecting. May not be the worse thing on earth in that I theoretically can slowly accustom myself to the hustle again, but knowing them they are probably shortchanging me by expecting me to do more (in the name of testing me) yet not giving me the recognition - we shall see after I have my talk with them. 

So right now I am counting down every day. Not to the day when I return, but to the day I take my well deserved break, i.e. my trip back home (hence the “home” stretch). This feeling itself is similar to Jan 2021 when I was counting the days to my CNY break. The random sleepless nights worrying irrationally about my break not happening and all. Oh well. But mostly it’s looking forward to it. 

25 days to go!

First things first, scoring system changed from a numerical one to an alphabetical one this year. I don’t recall them announcing or sending any emails about it, so when boss texted (yes, that’s her style) about it I was stumped for a bit. And at that point boss was still in the midst of her two month post-op hospitalization leave and I didn’t want to disturb or bug her with questions about it (even if we know nothing about her condition and whether she is recuperating well or what not). And quite frankly, why did they still make her be the one that release the scores anyway? D could easily do this. Sheesh. This management style is still something I can’t quite figure out. 

Anyway, because I got the text while on my way out to buy lunch, I can only make an interim conclusion in my head on what the score meant under the old system while waiting to go home and dig out email archives on scoring system change. And that conclusion was something that I didn’t like very much, so I spent much of the lunch hour annoyed and forming various aggressive monologues in my head which made for a rather unenjoyable lunch. 

Went home, dug around a bit, found a FAQ in the intranet (they really didn’t send any announcements) and…basically I got angry over lunch for nothing HAHAHAHA. 

That said, and even though I said a long time ago that I will not expect any promotion this couple of years, it’s still tough to swallow. It’s my decision to venture out, and this is the price I had to pay. That doesn’t mean it hurts less especially when the list came out and you look at all those names, and realize you are now even further behind the pack when you really should be a front runner if you hadn’t left. 

There’s also this bit about feeling, I don’t know, inadequate? That you have not made a good enough impression to warrant any special considerations, but, eh, it wasn’t what I was gunning for in the first place. Like, what am I expecting? I clearly didn’t give my all these two years. So I got over this part pretty quickly. 

And about that - with less than 3 months to go, we have arrived at another turning point. I think I really made up my mind about a year back, and recent events only validate that, but what a tough road I will have if I went ahead. Literally nobody thought it’s a good idea to go back seeing how things have changed there (except those who helmed the changes) and the recent exodus there only proves that.

“I wouldn’t come back if I were you.” 

I don’t know if I am making excuses to defend my decision, but it really isn’t that straightforward? Because if I were to make an abrupt U-turn, there really isn’t any good excuse to mask the fact that I don’t want to endure this hardship. And it’s really not as if staying is the best option because I really don’t see a future here. The question, then, is do I want to burn bridges because of a potentially short term issue? Or set some conditions, tough it out, and be “rewarded” later? 

It’s a tough question to answer, and anyway I don’t think the answer still matters seeing how plans are already in motion. As I jokingly told some of them - if anything goes wrong eventually I’ll just flip table and go (even though I really don’t have any back up hahahah). 

But you better give me my long break before this man. If you take even this part away from me imma just walk away now.

So 2021! It’s disappointing that the world hasn’t quite returned to normal, and living with the new normal isn’t going as planned either. Disappointing because at this point last year our cases were under control and there’s so much hope with first shipments of vaccines arriving. One year on and two highly transmissible variants later, we have taken one step back even in terms of things like socializing. So lesson learnt, not gonna have high hopes for 2022. 

But otherwise - what else happened in 2021? 

************

That big event I mentioned above - taking the plunge and buying my first home. 

It was something that has been on my radar for a while, and ever since I got citizenship last year I have started looking, with the intention of shifting in by the time my ongoing rental lease ends. It didn’t happen because I procrastinated a bit (and my heart was in Brunei since Aug last year) so timeline would have been a bit tight. So negotiated a new short term lease (came with increased rent oh well) and effective set myself a deadline of 31 Dec. This gave the whole project a bit of urgency and thus I function a bit better. 

Long story short (because the long story is in other posts), place found, sort of got pushed into it but I think largely no regrets. Renovation or rather sprucing up the place was unexpectedly draining, but I think I’m rather pleased with the results so I think that’s worth it, though I still wouldn’t want to go through that anytime soon. Still very thankful that this happened while WFH which made a lot of things easier to coordinate. 

The house is now a home! There’s this niggling feeling about being in debt from now on, but managed to convince myself that this is not too different from paying rental, at least from the perspective of my bank account. And of course a couple of years down the road I can be on the lookout for another place again once I became eligible, age wise or partner wise hahah. 

For now, hoping all goes well in the new place. 

Work wise, I think I am in a much better place as compared to this time last year. No more random panic attacks and self doubt of my capabilities, and I think my vision cleared up. It does help that I have a lot more to do than this time last year, helped by the fact that a colleague resigned and I had to cover. But the extra exposures I was promised never came, either due to the same reason or D’s lack of faith in my ability (wait, what happened to no self doubt lol). Well, their loss. 

But either way, I know the path I want to take. It’s the understanding and acceptance that it’s ok to prefer to stay in comfort zone and not strike out. That if you are not going to learn further than there’s not much point. Just that it’s my nature that sometimes I can’t help pondering if it’s gonna be the right one, considering the climate. Will I be able to tune out the unfavorable parts of the job and focus on the good ones, making sure it outweighs the other? 

We’ll see in 2022! 

************

So travel is mostly still ground to a halt, at least in Asian countries - western world is just happily going around. Honestly if you ask me if we are going to live with virus in an endemic stage, all travel should resume without any tedious restrictions - because the idea is that this is nothing more than a flu which nobody gave a hoot. But lo and behold we are still stuck where we are, going through cycles of loosening and tightening restrictions. Went for a couple of staycations which were similarly disrupted zzz.

It’s the stress of having to change plans and adapt on the fly that is deterring me from flying when some restrictions are loosened. Not to mention the idea of your stay overseas getting extended unexpectedly because you are not allowed to board the flight home if you happen to test positive. Ironically, not so much about actually catching the virus itself because I’m vaccinated and I got my health in order. 

That said, extremely relieved to be able to travel home at the beginning of the year. Was in a mess mentally at that point, and that’s all I wanted to do. I got what I needed, and that long break did wonders in terms of resetting myself. 

I was eyeing another attempt at Switzerland/Austria as a in-between-job trip again for 2022, but like I said I don’t have high hopes for it - instead it’s looking like another long trip at home during that period. Unfortunately there’s a high chance that I won’t get to be at home during CNY because work commitments meant I couldn’t afford more than a week off and situation is just too volatile now. But oddly I am at peace with that. I am not too upset about it (this would have triggered a full scale meltdown last year) and I am not even sure why - but I am not going to question it. 

Or maybe family/friends can visit me if situation permits, now that there’s room hehe. 

************

About health - no major scares. Fitness level have stalled and I think I basically stopped pushing hard post-CNY. Partly because the feedback I got when I went home was that I was too skinny lol. I was like "there's no such thing as too skinny" but sometimes I do get that sense when I looked at photos of myself. So let go a bit, and it's about maintaining the range of weight I want to be at and switching focus to building up my frame instead. But I guess there's not much progress on that front either because most of the time I dont really know whether I was doing things correctly and if my form was right etc. And I still can't do a pull up properly sigh. Let's see if we can improve on that next year.

Skin on the other hand...also nothing much to report on? Stopped phototherapy last year, stopped oral medication altogether this year which was meant to be temporary initially in preparation of vaccination but doctor did tell me I can stop if I dont see any major issues so I just decided not to continue with it after vaccination. And there wasnt major flare ups so I guess I am off meds as well. Even though the discolorations are still attracting unwanted stares so tried to ask doc for something, but it didnt really work out well sigh. So still gotta live with it for a bit and try to find a solution for it.

WFH is not helping with social life, though I think I am starting to revert back to my anti-social self and dread returning to office. Maybe that was just a phase last year hahah. But now that there's home...where's family?

190 cases a day? To think we used to have a grand total of 190 cases after 10 months of pandemic. 

I guess I was just lulled into this false sense of security. Having successfully gone home during the pandemic without much issues, I thought the path will always be there for me if I need it. So while I miss home, it wasn’t to an extent that I am desperate to go home, panicking about not being able to go home, because there was a certain path which I knew I could follow. 

Should have known better. 

Not to say that the path has completely disappeared, but it’s just tougher and a lot more costly, on the SG side of things. Actually on the Brunei side of things…come to think of it, they’d probably reject all short term entry applications now that they don’t have the resources to quarantine/test foreigners. 

So if they don’t get this under control soon…I guess we know what will happen next CNY. I mean, I am staying positive, but I don’t actually have much faith in them. Rather I am banking on the virus to die down on its own pretty much like the last time round, just that this time they took more people down with them. 

Trying hard not to lapse back into last year’s mentality at this point of the year. It wasn’t nice.

The first quarter passed by in a flash, and suddenly it’s 9/24. 

I was still struggling massively with motivation at the end of December, mainly because of the lack of work. And when the work did come in January, firstly it’s hard to switch from zero to 100 all of a sudden, and my heart was already in Brunei by then. When I came back after taking almost the entire Feb off, March flew by because suddenly things piled up.

So I almost had no time to overthink things, to countdown and think how many more months to go, and maybe that helps in work efficiency. Things are flowing now I think, though suddenly, I am not that looking forward to a return to office environment. Hahah maybe these two are somehow related, but the idea of having to interact and build up relationships with people is suddenly draining again. 

Nevertheless at this rate, I think I know what’s my path and what I will enjoy doing. Like, if I am not going to learn much out of this stint, there’s no point prolonging it. Open to surprises though. 

Scores came out couple of weeks back and I think there’s a mixture of surprise and disappointment this time round. Surprise, because I was fully prepared to be a sacrificial lamb but turned out not to be the case. Disappointed, because even though I was fully prepared I knew I deserved more. Like a promotion, which I feel is way overdue - I mean, come on, my batch mates have been at that grade for 2-3 years now. 

So much for “doing things at my own pace and if I get recognized good for me” lol. But at the end of the day I guess we still have to be grateful in these times? That a bonus is still part of the equation, and one that is not significantly reduced while at that. It’s just an awkward timing to do transition which I landed myself in, I guess. All in the name of a change and seeing things from other angles. 

I have now seen and I now understand that striking out of comfort zone is not for everybody. You really only learn from experience. 

Let’s see what happens next then.

(Late post, written just after quarantine ended but haven’t got around to posting it)

So as part of entry requirements into Brunei I obviously had to go through quarantine. The good thing is that based on past experience (from a grand total of one friend), quarantine period is short for arrivals from SG (due to the relatively low risk given that community cases in SG have remained low for quite some time) even if they still require you to book a minimum of 6 nights of accommodation, take your pick from the list of hotels providing quarantine services (do you call it a service?). 

Went for Parkview Hotel because a) it’s one of the cheapest (though I later discovered Higher Hotel rates are like $20 ish per night?!) and b) it’s a 10min drive from home so it’s easy for meal deliveries. And I was very smart (I am still proud of it) to split up my bookings so that in the event I get released early, I can cancel the remaining nights and get refunded (if I cancel in time, so there was this anxiety from not knowing when my swab test is, you’ll see later). The alternative is of course to select the option of paying directly at the hotel (so you can just pay for the length you stayed) but cheapo me also wanted to earn my credit card miles from online payment lol so oh well. 

Wanted to record down the various thoughts and OS I had throughout my 40 hour quarantine, couldn’t think of better ways or platform to do it so here it goes.

*******************

12.22am 

Checked in! Room is dated hahah. In need of maintenance but generally quite liveable and ample space to move around. 

12.52am 

Just tried connecting wifi. It’s very questionable uh oh. Weak signal. And my data isn’t exactly unlimited... 

1.00am 

Just got around to read the quarantine instructions from hotel. So those amenities are meant to last 14 days ahaha. Can request for more if it runs out but they give more to begin with hoping they don’t have to deal with you later on hahaha. 

9.25am 

Rise and shine! Suddenly remembered that I am on leave and this is not any regular weekend. 

9.44am 

No signs of breakfast outside room, so I called reception to check. Apparently “it’s maybe on the way and they are still packing” hmmm. Snacking on my leftover airline food from last night in the meantime. 

10.02am 

Still struggling mightily with getting stable wifi. Zzzz not going to turn out well but thank goodness I have offline entertainment plans in place.

10.40am 

Not that I usually eat breakfast to begin with but since I paid for it already I better get it. So called to check again, this time a second receptionist told me since the rate I booked on agoda doesn’t include breakfast, I am not getting it either. Oh wellll. 

Also asked her to help check with MOH on swab test and she said she will get the contact point to check. Which I think going by the level of efficiency at this hotel it isn’t happening anytime soon (the checking). 

11.05am 

Have taken to shift an armchair near the door and camping there in a bid to improve wifi connection. Still not working great on phone but surprisingly ok on iPad. Maybe only one device can connect at a time or sth. 

11.32am 

Think I’ll start on my book after lunch? Aircon is getting quite cold so gonna off it for a bit. 

11.46am 

Le mum is here to deliver lunch. Waved from window. Can’t believe my legs are shaking. 

11.50am 

What’s taking them so long to deliver up my stuff...and there isn’t even a chair outside my room for them to place the stuff. Every other room along the corridor has one except mine leh. For some reason. 

11.55am 

Oh it’s here. They just didn’t knock. 

12.02pm 

This is for two meals I guess. 

12.46pm 

Yummy in tummy! Might be planning for an in-room exercise session or two HAHAHA 

1.15pm 

Anxious to know about swab test why aren’t they more proactive 😕 I don’t want to have to call reception for the third time today leh. 

3.00pm 

A form is stuffed under the door for me, for registration of Bru-HIMS (health info management system?) with no further instructions. So I am supposed to fill in? And pass to someone? Or eat it? Gosh. At least call to explain mah. 

3.08pm 

Oh the call came and OOH I AM DOING SWAB TEST TODAY. That’s what the form is for. 

4.33pm 

Off to swab test! Driver came back from Sg Tujuh presumably picking up someone from Miri. Reception was supposed to call again to tell me what to bring but never did, instead driver came up to my room directly and had to wait a bit for me to change. 

5.02pm 

At RIPAS! Registration procedures (done back end I suppose) done and I am waiting for I am not sure what. They know what they are doing but they don’t seem to see a need to communicate to the subject, so it is a bit unnerving sometimes. 

5.14pm 

Swab test done. Turns out I was waiting for the actual test rather than any other procedures (not sure why I can jump queue too? Lots of people waiting, looks like locals maybe they are non urgent cases coz after all there’s no local transmission?). Same discomfort if not more than the last time round, then I was told well done and I can go. Had to ask how i receive results (apparently I don’t, they will call up the hotel who will release me if all’s well). Then I was left to leave on my own so I just exited and went back to the car. No escorts even for foreign cases? Hmmm sketchy. 

5.25pm 

Back in room! One thing is that I find that they don’t take much care to ensure that you don’t mingle with public while moving around hotel premise as long as you are with the staff (e.g being led in and out of hotel). I suppose the risk of transmission is low ba, since you don’t stop to interact with anybody. 

5.46pm 

Wondering if I should exercise. A bit lazy alr hahah. 

6.38pm 

Forgot how early it gets dark here. Room lights are a bit too dim for my liking, so I miss the sun already. 

7.27pm 

Done workout eventually, with spare blanket from spare bed as a makeshift exercise mat oops. And time for chicken rice dinner! One mouth and there is no doubt where it came from. Taste of home is unmistakeable. 

8.36pm 

There are people living in rooms opposite me, judging by the trash bags left outside before 8pm deadline. Wonder how long they have been here. Wonder if this is the floor dedicated for quarantine.

9.24pm 

This wifi is killing me. 

30/1/21 

9.39am 

Spied (via peephole) the neighbor in the room opposite mine leaving. Good for you! Hopefully it’s my turn soon. 

10.12am 

Don’t want to jinx it but wifi is suddenly a lot better. Maybe someone was hogging the bandwidth earlier? 

10.47am 

Cleaning staff cleaning room opposite. No PPE etc but I suppose since the guest is negative it should be ok? 

11.45am 

So excited to hear phone ring. So excited that results (negative of course) are out so early! But apparently still need to wait for official MOH letter expected later in the afternoon and hotel estimates that I can leave at night.

But wow this efficiency from MOH. Pleasant pleasant surprise. So the quarantine is unofficially over and I am just on a staycation now until tonight? Lol. 

12.30pm 

I didn’t get to start on my book LOL. And got through 2 episodes out of 31 Top Chef Seasons 11 and 12. Maybe can squeeze in a couple more later while waiting but that’s about it alr haha. I did get to workout once. And only two home cooked meals needed in the end - today’s is tapao-ed food. 

2.20pm 

All packed, room restored to original condition, still waiting for official notice to be let go 😕 

3.45pm 

The call is here! Let’s goooo. Apparently BFF duo wanted to do the whole visiting and waving from downstairs drama but never got the chance to do it coz Stel didn’t think I’ll be released that soon lol.

4.05pm 

Showered, last look, check out. The various transports to hotel and swab test costs $15 per way zzz oh well. At least I managed to get refunded for 3 out of 6 nights I booked heheh 

4.15pm 

Official end of the entire quarantine journey!

********************

So the experience has been a positive one. I might even enjoy it or do a longer one if it’s free (like the SG one before 31 Dec 2020). But of course I hope I wouldn’t have to go through it again the next time I am back.