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Jovial June
posted : Wednesday, July 01, 2026
June update, and I still did sort of a double take when I realize that half a year has gone by.
Kinda felt like the pace is a bit slower this month and I have no complaints about that. I obviously started the month on an overseas break and when I returned everybody else seemed to be taking turns to go on break too. And by everybody I meant boss and bigger boss so that explains why things slowed down a bit. Trip and reflections I have/will cover in separate posts as usual, then the other milestone of the month is of course turning 37, which meant catching up with the usual few small groups. Sort of glad to be remembered this year - presence over presents - and wishing for consistent health as I told everybody who cared to listen. But also not sure why it took me that long to remember how lucrative Kris+ can be during this period where there are upsizes and it’s basically free miles. And I think that line of thought sort of dominated the month - one that I busted a lot of my bonus caps and had to ration and plan a lot including for the months ahead because I have quite a bit of bookings to do for the rest of the year. Reminded me of the house renovation days where I meticulously planned my spendings to maximize my returns. Not sure if that is entirely healthy tbh but it was sort of fun I guess. So there’s a lot of letting go in terms of diet and helps that it coincides with bulking season. My weight was being an ass where it didn’t reduce when I needed it to and now it didn’t increase much when I wanted it to lol. Clean bulking is the struggle though, I think it was decent effort on my end but I probably still need to cut back on sugar by a lot if I wanted the phase to be fruitful. What I did enjoy is the significantly higher energy levels during training, when finally start hitting new PBs in most exercises after a few months of stagnation. Shoulder is not getting any better though, I was hoping two weeks of break from exercise would allow it some time to heal completely but reality is I felt that it has now gone back to about 80%? From 90%. I guess the exercises weren’t really affecting it if I don’t feel it too much during the exercises, so I am perplexed as to why it isn’t healing. Something to report back the next month, I guess. Hmm yeah…till next month, I guess.  Happy birthday you. Labels: updates |
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May Madness
posted : Monday, June 01, 2026
May was madness more because the first half of the month I was sort of busy trying to close two projects - one of which involved a CMM presentation. At the end of the day the presentation went well, I managed to get these two projects off sir/madam’s tracking lists - even though they are strictly not closed yet, but it’s a win in my books. And it’s like a huge weight off my shoulder after that week, the sense of relief that tells me “okay, you can go enjoy Japan now”.
But back to the presentation - years of experience under my belt and the fact that I know my stuff well meant that I didn’t really have to prep that much - rehearse and all - and just had to familiarize myself with the deck beforehand. What was sort of unexpected for me was how, even with this knowledge, I felt very jittery in the week and especially the two days leading up to it. Perhaps I got carried away by the general tension D was projecting, but I should have trusted myself more. Didn’t like that uneasy feeling but as I said, the sense of relief that came over after was rather satisfying and I was glad to get it out of the way. Month actually started with another routine KL trip. Always thought I’d get bored of it soon but still managed to keep it generally packed. Rain Rave Festival kept things a bit interesting in terms of logistical challenges, but after Park Hyatt hotels will always pale in comparison. Moxy was a pretty value for money gem though, and the whole Chinatown area has more to explore so I might dedicate some time here the next time round. And that sets me up nicely for Japan! It’ll be covered in the reflections post as usual, along with the series of ten posts or so - sigh days without backlogs are over - and I did manage to cut down to my target weight prior to the trip, though barely but again I’ll take the win. Funnily enough trainer did body check the week before and a weekend later, did a double take claiming that I visibly looked even leaner than the week prior so took another set of photos. I do think visually there’s now an obvious difference in that people are commenting about me slimming down again, even if the stupid body fat percentage is stubbornly slow. Bulking next and I wonder how it’d turn out. But I digress. Till next month!
 REXKL may be my favorite spot this trip  And my regular check in with this one. Labels: updates |
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All-in April
posted : Friday, May 01, 2026
And one third of the year is over just like that.
April started with a bang because I finally got away after more than a month in town. Funny how standards are such that one month counts as intolerable these days. And even if it’s somewhere as near as Melaka it still was such a needed escape. I was kinda hoping for a bit of catch up with cousins, which was kinda odd for me, but in the end most of them didn’t make the trip and I was awkward as usual so oh well. But I guess I did spend some quality time with my folks so that’s a good thing. And of course ate to my hearts content and plotting a weekend escape here in the near future because…actually it’s very doable? The other part of the trip which I was looking forward to, more so than the Melaka leg, was the PH staycation. It was tempting to make this a KL trip but seeing that I’ll be back in about a month’s time anyway for a proper trip I decided to keep this as a proper staycation - so in-house meals and facilities it is. And it was a really good stay I feel, I dig the design ethos and the lengths they go to in order to enforce its consistency. Service could have been more personable, view could be better (because unfortunately it was mostly cloudy and rainy), but can’t complain. The pool was surprisingly what I thought the weak point contrary to what everybody says, because at level 99 I suppose it’s too cold for it to be outdoors? Breakfast was awesome quality. Other than that the rest of the month was work as usual. I alternate between annoyance and focus on getting some projects closed (because I was annoyed, ok maybe they are all the same) so it was productive in a way. Just constantly remind myself to not get outlasted hur hur.
Interestingly got dragged into this colleague group doing a monthlong sit up challenge where we start slow (10 sit ups on day 1) ending with 100 sit ups a day on day 30. It was surprisingly fun and I don’t have trouble with it, except on days where I’ve PT session and I’d be quite knackered by the end of it that I have to breakdown the sit up program into more manageable segments. Oh and speaking of fitness. I spent the entire month dealing with a right shoulder injury. It felt like a muscle strain at first but by now it still hasn’t healed so I wasn’t sure now. Granted there was obvious improvements week on week at first but it has stayed on more or less the same state for a couple of weeks now. Having trouble with some rotational movements but I’ve progressed to a state where I can now do weighted pull ups (initially even just hanging on the bar was not doable). Thought of getting it checked out, but eventually decided not to because with our medical system by the time I get scheduled to see a specialist I’m probably alr healed so. Plus it’s not something you can take medicine or something, either surgery (and it’s not so serious I think) or you can just rehab yourself so I guess we can just save the effort. And hopefully by the next update it’d be better. May will be fun! Bookended with trips including one that I’ve been looking forward to for a long time (because as usual I booked it long ago) and it’s a solo trip in the end because the sister couldn’t make it eventually. Which means also that I’ve gotta settle quite a bit of work stuff in between, and lock in on the last sprint of my cutting phase. Till then.  Labels: updates |
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Muted March
posted : Wednesday, April 01, 2026
After whizzing through the first two months of the year March felt strangely muted, even if the same theme of it passing by quickly remained.
Grounded, for one - didn’t fly anywhere for the first time in a while. Which makes it a very work focused month I guess, for good or for worse. Good because I think I got things done, bad because I kinda got into this bad headspace where I kept getting irritated by the leadership and the direction we are heading towards even though it’s nothing new by now. And March meant appraisal results, which turned out to be a long drawn process because firstly I had quite a few people to go through, and secondly not everyone is around during that week so I ended up stretching it over almost two weeks. It was mentally draining at first because the heavyweights are quite frontloaded, as usual not everyone is happy with what they got, but on the plus side there’s not much drama this year and I do feel very much at ease talking to everybody despite again not preparing enough (I still forgot some points for some people and only recall them a few days later). And my own, well wasn’t spared from the default-but-officially-not-default drop and let’s just say I now fully understand all those people who have been getting their Cs all these years. Bank account definitely didn’t look as pretty, for the first time since 2013. Definitely stung because it was worse than I expected/remembered it to be, and so I think I took it harder than I expected myself to. May we never land here again. Being grounded also means I had time to work on myself so resumed cutting phase after CNY feast - and it wasn’t as fast as I thought, at least I felt that the outcome wasn’t proportionate to the effort I put in. Injured shoulder towards the end of the month and it was bothering and affecting my daily life a fair bit, plus the entire month I felt that something was off with my body again though it not severe enough for me to seek medical attention, but something that I am monitoring closely and hopefully get it sorted out next month. And all the war nonsense going on, despite actively booking and confirming trips as far as next year there’s this niggling feeling that it may not work out as planned. Just part of all the negativity playing through the entire month, I guess. April will start with a bit of travels so maybe that’s the break I need to reset! Fingers crossed. Labels: updates |
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Festive February
posted : Sunday, March 01, 2026
February is of course dominated by annual CNY getaway. Understandable, considering there’s 28 days and I am away for more than one third of it.
Which also means I cheated on my diet for almost the entire month because I sort of let loose over the entire CNY period oops. But what I thought was sort of amazing was that the damage is similar to the trip the month prior, considering it was triple the length and very consistent daily high calories. So I figured your body adjusts after a few days and plateaus, rather than just adding 1 or 2 kgs a day or something.
CNY for me is mostly a form of 仪式感 - there are certain things I need to do every year before flying off, the Bangkok trip which on its own has very standard agendas, and the same few people I ended up catching up with. This year was no different but I did mention a few years back (or was it every year) that with each passing year and reduction in mobility (of my parents) there’s slight changes every year. This year was mostly spent indoors, my dad drank lots of coffee and hot chocolate as usual, we Grabbed everywhere (and stopped paying attention to the prices), paid even fewer visits to temple, and I think we indulged in better food places more often. For me one of the main highlights came very early on in the trip when dad went “Wah!” when I opened the door to our hotel room. Lol it’s a slight step up from our usual price ranges and it’s fairly new and modern and chic, and he liked it. We all do, but it’s rare for him to express it so that’s a win in my books. I did get sick of watching arguments take place over minute things though, and i still get affected by it very easily as compared to the sister who is now numb. Regrettably it boiled over on my last night at home, so it was kind of a sour end to the trip. But CNY is CNY, home trip is home trip, it still was a good time overall and this time round I did come back to SG in one piece so I guess all’s good. And speaking of which I went for what was supposed to be one final check at the hospital the morning after coming back to SG - and was greeted by validation of a clean bill of health. Everything is perfectly within normal range now and I was beaming from ear to ear by the time doctor was ready to see me. So that paid consultation was more of a chit chat session with minimal snippets of advice, and I even forgot to ask if it’s an opportune time for me to take the vaccine already. Oh well at least insurance paid for that session. But can’t be more glad to move on. Back at work, boss came back on the first day of the month and relieved us of all covering duties. And he was looking rather fresh though that freshness didn’t last too long oops - I came back from my break and he was already looking sian again. But again because of short month and my break - there’s very little to say about work in general. Next month will be blockbuster though - hopefully not for wrong reasons.
Technically this happened in March but since we are talking about CNY here - hosted a gathering for the first time in a while. Granted it was only for a group of 4 in the end but it got me slightly stressed getting the house into a suitable state, which included a pre-CNY spring cleaning which I had wanted to do for a while. But 一分钱一分货la because while this team I found on Carousell was reasonably priced…my chairs weren’t still wasn’t very clean in the end and the stains showed up once dried. Not sure if they tried their hardest already, oh well. Got a pencai and I quite liked it, even though there was a bit of stress cooking it through the claypot. I guess I am a bit sorry to see February end because CNY has traditionally been my favourite holiday. Grounded and not flying in March and maybe it’s good time to get some progress in terms of fitness, but well you never know heh heh.  Bangkok trip was a mixed bag in the end  This guy acting all cute in front of everybody. Labels: updates |
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Jam-packed January
posted : Sunday, February 01, 2026
Kind of resolved to do a monthly update post, however short it may be, instead of waiting for I don’t know, half a year or something.
January was kinda madness at work. I still think the 2015 days where I juggled many things at once was the worst ever, so let’s just say I haven’t had such schedules in a while, even if I still generally knock off by 630 everyday. Lower standards I know but yeah. Reason being boss was away for three months, us SMs took turns covering, and I am the flavor of the month, which I kinda knew from the start that it will be a busy one as compared to November and December (duh). It’s like everybody woke up at the same time and decided hey it’s a good time to catch up on this. My record was 8 meetings in a day with my only free time slot being 1-1.30pm, and I was just plain laughing about it instead of being upset or tired, because it sounded so unfathomable how nothing overlaps and it’s really just back to back^8. It did get whittled down to 6 eventually and the one before lunch ended early so I ended up with a proper lunch break. There was also a day when I ended a meeting at 815pm and had to skip a PT session oh well. But the good news (I hope) is that boss will be back tomorrow and things should be back to normal (even though as it stands, I have to go in office all 5 days next week so easier schedule my foot. Nah kidding. Objectively January is not a bad month at work but February will be better. But it did give me a reason to self declare a mental health break and I’ve been itching to escape somewhere….so I did. Ask me where if you want to know, but all I can say is that while this was a last minute (I spontaneously booked it 10 days before at the peak of my busy schedule) and hectic trip (because I want to utilize every bit of it) it did the trick, and I almost can’t believe it did. Physically tired but mentally recharged. And it sort of set me back by a week in terms of weight cut but I recovered it in exactly a week (I was expecting it to take longer since I gained quite a bit from it) so not much harm done in the end, and I am on track to hit my target before CNY. Last lap! And yes that’s what I am looking forward to in February. Another break (of course) and CNY had traditionally been my favourite holiday. Fingers crossed I come back from Brunei safe and sound this time round lol. Labels: updates |
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HepA
posted : Saturday, October 18, 2025
So, easily the highlight of the year, even if I didn’t ask for it nor was it a particularly positive one. Other than the positive test result(s).
So the story began when I went home in September as usual. Not particularly eventful but obligations settled within the first couple of days, and the rest of the week I was busy getting coffees, running errands, meeting people. The mother was under the weather and coughing the house down, but I didn’t think I’d catch anything, until the final night. Or maybe the final couple of days when I felt something coming which is the usual dry throat that I tried to suppress with loads of water. But Saturday night chills and fever came anyway, after I went home from a night out with the BFF duo. Sunday morning we sent our parents off at airport to Malacca for my aunt’s funeral, and at that point I could barely keep my eyes open for the rest of the day - anytime I sat down somewhere - in the car, on the sofa etc I slept. I don’t know how but I made it to my own flight back to SG, slept throughout except during meal, and when I reached home I couldn’t even unpack, the horror. Thermometer confirmed I was running a high fever - 40.6, I was pretty sure I’ve never seen this before. So MC it is.
 The good news was that the temperature came down the next day, maybe with the help of medication, and I was actually pretty energetic throughout the day that I was even able to work a bit to clear my one week’s worth of emails, and gradually I got better during the rest of the work week which I felt the need to be present because of appraisal battles. I did take Wednesday afternoon off because the whole morning I felt out of sorts again, and I slept through the whole afternoon. The lethargy was there definitely and I assumed it’s aftermath of whatever virus I caught. Little did I know this wasn’t even close to the end. Just the end of chapter 1. Friday came and it was a WFH day. Felt a bit bloated after lunch, in fact throughout the afternoon so I delayed dinner, and actually went to gym for my first workout in a couple of weeks. Towards the end of the session I actually felt a tinge of dizziness and I remembered, maybe I should have eaten dinner first because come to think of it, I didn’t eat much for lunch too. So grabbed a quick but small dinner because I still feel a bit bloated. Over the weekend was when things got worse. I woke up on Saturday feeling out of sorts and lethargic again, but I had a scheduled dental appointment so I headed out anyway, and had McD breakfast which I stomached with some difficulty. Almost fell asleep waiting for my turn at the dentist’s, then decided to cancel the rest of the day’s plans and tapao-ed lunch home, which I didn’t touch because you guessed it, bloated. At this point I should also point out that I noticed that my pee had this abnormally sharp yellow color, I wanted to say bright yellow but when it hit the toilet bowl it is more of a dark yellow color (yes I’m aware bright and dark yellow are two very different things). And it has been the case for a couple of days now. Slept through the afternoon, woke up and ate my lunch as dinner, and proceeded to have the worst night I’ve had in a while - because I was bloated, maybe there’s a bit of acid reflux, and the whole abdomen was feeling so uncomfortable that I was passing gas which eventually became puke - ended up vomiting out my entire dinner before body agreed to rest. Knowing something was wrong I telemedicined again on Sunday, getting some antacid and other medicine to help with the bloating but again it was a similar story as Saturday - ate breakfast because I felt the need to (rather than hunger), and a light dinner where I only picked out the fish and meat slices from a soup and didn’t drink much. The good news though was that I didn’t puke it out after. Monday in office, again I felt obligated to be there because of meetings and I was also gingerly eating lunch which surprisingly I managed to finish the entirety of it. I should mention at this point the thought of food made me nauseous and I couldn’t even look at food pictures including those food influencer ones on IG. But I was also very lethargic and I napped in my cube after lunch, and almost couldn’t wake up to work. And I thought something was wrong so after my meetings, told my boss I’m heading off and went to A&E at TTSH. I realize I am very ill equipped with such knowledge. I went to TTSH because I didn’t know where else I can go under such circumstances. I didn’t want to go to GP and wait for a specialist reference, and I think polyclinics are out of the question too. I thought it’s good to get some tests and scans - at this point, my research based on my symptoms are pointing towards something called obstructive jaundice (side note I kept thinking of it as obstruction of justice), mainly because of the pee colour and one of the reasons could be because the bile duct is obstructed by possibly stones. The wait was horrifyingly long as usual, but I think I was in a better shape than the last time I was here (I had kidney stones back then and the abdomen was hurting the whole time). So I didn’t mind the wait plus I was nodding off most of the time. Blood tests, X-rays done, then I was waiting for results. At around 7 the ED doctor summoned me again, and with a very grave look told me “I need to admit you today.”  I always thought it’s a miracle that this giant thing doesn’t leave a bruise behind. For drips, blood taking and everything and I kept bumping into it also Briefly, my liver readings are haywire. Like very off - one of the indicators, where the normal range was supposed to be 50 units (let’s called it units, I can’t remember what the actual measurement unit is), was at 2700. That’s like more than 50 times above the normal range oops. So all these is pointing to liver damage which can turn into liver failure very quickly, so investigation is needed to see what was causing it. I think I took the news relatively well, to be honest. Wasn’t fearful or anything (or maybe I didn’t know how severe it was at that point). It was more like “aha I knew something was wrong!”. I wished I could say everything was a flurry from that point (because isn’t this an emergency already?) but no…got ushered up to a bed, and wheeled to observation ward while awaiting for ward space. And here’s where I thought the admission process is a bit weird, because admission office called me (am I not already in hospital? Can’t you just find me?) to ask me to specify which ward class I want after giving me some brief descriptions - and i hadn’t had time to ask my insurance agent yet so I just blindly chose one. Another hour of waiting maybe, and the observation ward nurse came over to ask if I want to take another ward type - basically I will be parked along the corridor in a makeshift ward space while waiting for an actual ward space, reason being they are very full now and I may have to wait until noon the next day before I get a space. And only after I get a space can the doctor come and visit me and I can get the necessary attention (more tests etc). Whereas if I opt for the temporary one I would at least be officially admitted and the process can begin. So fine, I didn’t think I want to wait further so agreed. Even then, it was another half an hour or so before they came over to wheel me up to the ward. At this point I just felt like I needed rest, so after changing I duly went to sleep - it wasn’t comfortable by any means, because I had to deal with the drip which was coming in through my arm, even with a corridor makeshift bed space I still have a fan for myself but it was too powerful, and after switching it off to sort of rely on the ward’s air conditioning it was too stuffy. 2 hours into my sleep I was unexpectedly woken up by the staff nurse to sort of interview me a bit (symptoms, what did I eat/do throughout the day etc), and best of all - admissions staff (“I went down to the observation ward and couldn’t find you” and it was only the next morning I realised that dude tried to call me and couldn’t reach me because my phone was on a DND mode after 11pm) to get me to sign forms and stuff and explain the charges. And gosh I can tell you I can’t process much at that point in time and I don’t think I know what I signed hahahah. The rest of the night I basically woke up every hour - it was dark enough but aside of the ventilation issues, the ward is also full of sick elderlies who were maybe coughing or insomniac and there’s this uncle who woke up for a walk, sat (I think) next to my bed and ATTEMPTED TO CHAT WITH ME WTF. I couldn’t see him because of privacy blinds but he was like “Bro, bro, what happened to you” until the staff nurse told him off. God. Now that I know what I was eligible for, never again (I always tell my insurance agent that she can explain to me every year but I will probably not remember it and will still call her when shit happens, unless I have experienced it and here we go, the experience). And the lights come on at 6am. By 7am I was up and magically breakfast appeared in front of me and even more magically, I actually had the appetite to eat it. And hallelujah, doctor showed up at 8am with a whole convoy, explaining to me that she had read my notes (by staff nurse and ED doc I guess) and test results, and she suspected the liver damage is caused by a viral infection but there will be a need to run a whole series of tests to find out exactly what. And she expects that the earliest I can be discharged is on Friday, so my natural question (which I have been thinking about for a while) was to ask if it was possible for me to go home for an hour or so to get some essentials - underwear, more specific toiletries like my skin creams, charger (I had a power bank with me but it’s the less powerful one which can only last 2-3 charges max, and I had used 2 charges at that point). Was told that she prefers not to, but if further tests later showed that the indicators are showing signs of coming down then she can consider but meanwhile she asked me to get someone to help. TBH I think I do have candidates in mind and it’s not difficult for them to access my place because I can let them in remotely but I always felt like I don’t want to trouble anybody, even at such critical juncture. Office laptop was with me because I came directly from office so duly set my OOO message, contemplated a bit and decided to just indicate that I’m on hospitalization leave and the message was meant more for big boss because I have no faith that he will leave me alone otherwise. But it eventually did trigger quite a few of messages of concern from colleagues which I was hoping to avoid at first, but oh well. The other bigger problem was that the sister was scheduled to visit this week, on Thursday evening through Sunday. And I was only scheduled for discharge earliest on Friday so some arrangements will be needed and I came clean with her hahaha but asked to keep it from our parents first. Until I have some certainty on what I have and my recovery. Also texted other miscellaneous people - insurance agent, for one. Told her I was admitted last night for blah blah at TTSH and point blank asked her which ward I should be going for, the answer was quick - Class A which is individual room with en-suite toilet hallelujah. Come to think of it I should have known earlier but I do empathize those who are in the common wards - must have been due to financial reasons and at that point I am grateful that I have provided for myself. The other person was of course my PT - have been canceling my sessions last week due to the flu and now I’m just going to be suspending sessions indefinitely urgh. Just when I was looking forward to cutting because I felt that I have bulked enough. Though this episode gave me a natural cut just that I probably will lose muscles along with it sigh resetting progress. All these settled, I proceed to drift in and out of sleep throughout the rest of the morning (for one I was lethargic still, and I did not have a good nights rest). The biggest event of note was blood test where a grand total of 19 vials of blood was taken from me ouchhh. Towards the end I felt like the entry point of the needle was hurting a bit even zzzz (true enough that area bruised for a few days eventually). But it was necessary because the doctor ordered all sorts of tests to get to the bottom of this.
Lunch, resting, and waiting for updates on my ward upgrade application - here this the other odd part about processes that I found - first I had to fill in an online form which asked me all sort of details. You’d think that’s the application itself, but no, it’s just to register interest of sorts and the admissions dept will call you to confirm your interest, after which you (or your rep, but I didn’t have one) have to personally make your way down to the admissions dept to formally apply. Told staff nurse in charge about this, she took my blood pressure and temp and agreed to release me temporarily for this, so off I go. And you know what, even after visiting the admissions dept and listening to explanation about charges (again), at this point the ward upgrade is still pending approval from beds dept (guess need to check vacancy and all) and the lady told me I will be informed in due course but no timeline given of course. But what do you mean all these can’t be done online? The only reason I can think of is that they need you to confirm that someone had explained the charges to you personally and you sign off with that understanding, to cover their asses. I suppose there must have been enough disputes for them to refuse to digitize this, but still, sigh. Back from the little excursion, continued with the nap/screen time cycle, managed to shower too because at this point I was very annoyed with my still gelled up hair, then finally a doctor from the medical team came over for further interviews and to report that my liver indicators have come down a bit so they agreed to give me home leave for an hour or so, I asked for 1.5 hours instead and it ended up being 3.15pm to 5pm lol. Of course it came with indemnity forms etc to absolve them of responsibility if something goes wrong oh well. So I changed and waited for my release - apparently some miscommunication and staff nurse was waiting for the clearance from doc when I had already signed it earlier? But I ended up leaving at 4.20pm and I told the staff nurse I’m just gonna come back at 6pm lol. I think somewhere in between I also heard from staff nurse that my ward upgrade has been approved, but I told them I’ll go home first and to process the ward change after I return. And with that I left after a full 24 hours in the hospital.  One of the things that I engaged in when I was bored - spying on this screen which lists all the patients in the ward and the medical team responsible. Not sure what I was looking out for but maybe just some updates? Because it’s really scarce.  My first lunch. I was so surprised that I find it flavorful and yummy Back home, I’m actually pretty impressed by how organized my thoughts were. Grabbed everything I need - charger, cables, iPad, underwear, jacket, toiletries, laptop, power bank etc - then proceeded to organize the house a bit in preparation for the sister’s arrival, including changing bedsheets lolol and even detailed enough to leave a spare key behind. And stuck to my word and I am back on my corridor bed at 6pm.  And promptly served dinner. Dinner, waited a bit and finally time for ward transfer, thanked the staff nurse and paiseh max because I had to be wheeled up on a wheelchair to my new room despite my mobility and it was by an elderly uncle oh well. Off I go to Ward 13D, Room 49. And what a relief it was to finally have some privacy and I felt like I can rest properly. Staff nurse on duty came to introduce herself, junior doctor came again to let me know briefly what’s happening next, vitals nurse came by every 4 hours to take blood pressure and temperature, I showered and found myself super sleepy and dozed off by 10pm.  Upgradeeee. My only complaint throughout the stay was that the walls are thin…I am sandwiched by one neighbor who had this bad coughing fit once every 5-6 hours, and another one who was constantly writhing in pain. Up early again on Wednesday like a regular workday, and just after breakfast doctors came by and finally we have a diagnosis! They found two viruses in my body, first being the cytomegalovirus (CMV) that was causing the fever and fatigue in the earlier part of the week, and drumroll…..Hepatitis A. Which is the chief cause for my liver damage. My first reaction? Damnit I shouldn’t have ignored my health screening reports all these years and just take a vaccine. Anyway my demeanor is calm la and doctors went on to explain how it isn’t life threatening, there’s no medication available at all, young enough so my liver should be able to recover on its own. But I need to stay hospitalized for them to monitor the liver indicators because it did spike by quite some distance and they needed to monitor if it is really on a downward trend or is it going to spike again, which if it does I will be able to receive attention quickly. And at this point I think they are way more interested in the source (which is likely food that has not been prepared properly or contaminated) and thus begins a long interview of travel history (which I briefly shared the day before, but now it’s a lot more relevant), what I ate and so on. And this interview was done a few times to various parties too - the virologist that came by in the afternoon, an officer from CDC who called me a few days after my discharge etc. I was mildly interested in the source too at first but I couldn’t figure it out because whatever possible source…I was never the only one that ate it - sashimi at Kaizen for example, or street food from Pasar, even that one time when I felt that my mother’s stir fried pork liver was kinda undercooked. I eventually concluded that I must have been really unlucky to get that one piece of questionable sashimi (for example). There’s actually nothing to be done for the rest of the day, other than the aforementioned visit by virologist, and visit by two separate groups of NTU medicine students. They must have gotten wind of a Hep A patient being warded and hey it’s a good chance for some practicals. So they went through their whole procedure, feeling their way around my belly (coz I allegedly was complaining about being bloated, I guess), and repeat 6 times because well everybody wanted a go. Oh well in the name of grooming future medical professionals I guess I don’t mind much. And I think at this juncture I must say I found hospital food to be surprisingly palatable. Maybe it’s because I just had a weekend where I had zero appetite. But everything felt flavorful, and I managed to stomach everything without feeling bloated - though come to think of it the portions are small (except the rice). They didn’t manage to take my orders for Wednesday because I checked in the ward late, but I placed my orders for Thursday and was actually looking forward to it. Until I was given the instruction to fast 6 hours before my scheduled ultrasound scan blegh.  Even plain cheong fun flavored slightly by sesame oil was so good to me lol that’s the other extreme  Wednesday lunch. It’s usually rice, some sort of braised/stewed chicken/pork, veg, fruit, fruit juice.  I have a decent view from my room, not that I camp in front of the window all the time  Dinner there’s a soup too. Steamed fish, veg etc.  Finally breakfast order came through - English muffin and chicken patty for breakfast. And I thought if I can eat this, McD won’t be a problem… Meanwhile other than jaundice, there’s an onset of itchiness - because liver wasn’t filtering toxins properly and they are all over the place so skin took a hit. Most times it doesn’t bother me but when I start scratching it’s…intense. The rest of the day was again napping on and off, screen time and I spent some time working at night clearing emails. Thought I was still very tired so went to bed by 10pm andddd lo and behold, can’t sleep. In fact nurse mentioned that I have a slight fever of 37.5 and asked me to get a Panadol from staff nurse, which I did but it was never delivered lol. All in all a rather poor night of sleep and started Thursday on a not so good note. But doctor came and told me if ultrasound scans today goes well he may discharge me tonight itself! Whuttt was prepared for a longer stay. But the indicators have halved since the test at A&E so I guess they are now quite confident it’s on a downward trend and my liver is repairing itself. Thursday morning’s test came back with the indicators dropping even further in fact, 2700 is now at 1071. So pleasantly surprised that I can make it in time for the sister’s visit. Agenda for the rest of the day is just ultrasound scan, and receiving my only guests of the stay lol. Apparently office ppl have been quite alarmed to receive my OOO message, and the cubicle mates plus some of lunch buddies decided to make a trip to check in on me. Which was nice, it came with this massive Get Well Soon balloon ahaha I love it. And me recounting my adventure thus far, twice because visitor registration system only allows two people to come up at the same time although I was sure private wards can allow for more.  Took this pic later on to thank them, and apparently I looked terrible Ultrasound scan got delayed eventually, which was a bit of an issue because I was told to drink 3 glasses of water an hour before the scheduled time to “test how much water the bladder can hold” and I believe to make it easier for scan to pick up stuff. So they came slightly after 3pm, and at the ultrasound room I still had to wait for two patients before me and I was about to burst lol. Scan went uneventfully, and I was wheeled back to wait, and my lunch forgotten sigh. I had asked the staff nurse the night before if she could somehow keep it for me seeing that I will be fasting, and she agreed but just like the panadol, nothing happened. Not that I was complaining because by the time I was done with scan it was almost 430 and not far from dinner so I just decided to just wait. And while having dinner doctor came by and said scans showed that the liver and spleen are not enlarged, just some fatty tissue so all’s good and I can go! In my excitement I forgot to ask more questions (diet plan, when can I start exercising etc) and when I do remember 30 seconds later she had disappeared from the ward altogether. Decided not to activate staff nurse to get her back and just wing it. Started packing up, showering etc and wait for discharge procedures - was expecting that I have to go down to bills dept for payment and all given how manual everything seems to be, and I was somewhat curious about my bill.  Last dinner, which had a rendang chicken option and I was like isn’t this heavy? But whatever. Surprise, nothing. Staff nurse eventually came about around 7pm to discharge me - I was to come back next week for blood tests and consultation, pending arrangement by the appointments team, and couple months down the road. Feedback form. Bill will be emailed to you. MC (I get another week of hospitalization leave at home). And that’s it. Oh. Went home! Colleague OKL insisted that she want to come over and drive me home, because she didn’t manage to visit me over lunch, I thought there wasn’t a need plus she needed to go home and collect her car first before coming over. But after a couple of rounds of futile dissuasion I let her be. It was a nice gesture la and am glad to talk to familiar people la. The sister reached about an hour after I did and the next few days, I guessed I overestimated my fitness level a bit? Scaled back activities by quite a bit as compared to her past trips (no buffet, for instance lol) but I got tired very quickly. We basically spent mornings at home just slowly eating breakfast and watching shows and preparing to head out. Lunch somewhere and all three afternoons we were in some sort of mall but I felt tired after an afternoon of walking about. On the first day I even felt a tinge of bloatedness which I was rather alarmed about but it went away after a night of sleep. And that eventually became the norm for most nights. On the last day I actually bailed out and camped somewhere while she went around and that somehow helped quite a bit because my energy levels came back after that. And the second week of HL at home, I mostly spent mornings planning my meals, screen time, and log in work laptop in the afternoons and despite being away, work hasn’t piled up thankfully and I usually can log off after a couple of hours. I did make my presence known so my staff know they can reach me and still that didn’t translate to much work so I am rather thankful I guess? I even went in office on Thursday because there’s an appraisal session and battles to be fought haha though that sort of coincides with my blood test appointment. Speaking of which that was a messy part post discharge. Appointment lady (she introduced herself as Cindy) called on Friday to arrange my November appointments. After which she was about to hang up when I got very confused and held her back asking about my appointments next week, to which she insist she don’t see any instructions on her end. Back and forth a bit and she told me she will text doctor to check hmmm. End of the day she told me doctor didn’t reply her, and I reminded her to check my discharge note because it was clearly written there, told her I prefer Thursday afternoon, and she told me she will get back to me on Monday coz they don’t work weekends. And she did, first thing on Monday morning, and told me doctor did reply and she will arrange for blood test. Come Thursday I discovered yet another cock up - she only booked for a blood test and no doctor’s review after that when I had it on my discharge note sigh. Reception told me this doc only run clinics on Mondays anyway, and on top of that he is on leave till end Nov. Okay what a coincidence sigh. Nothing much I can do, so I went home after the 5min blood test. And the results came out mostly good - all indicators coming down expect the bilirubin which went up instead which explains my continued struggles with itchiness. So I was initially prepared to just let it go. The more I think about it the angrier I got at the mess up though. So Friday I called them up again and eventually was put through to Cindy who told me doc didn’t tell her to arrange for a review and she will text again to ask. And a couple of hours later a doc did call back to explain the report and I took the chance to finally ask my burning questions. The main takeaway is that bilirubin is usually the last to start showing signs of coming down, I guess you’d need to wait for the liver to be back to normal before it regains its ability to filter and break down bilirubin. And also told me he will order for another blood test next week. Oh. Cindy called back later to confirm that too, and also explained that doc had been meaning to call to begin with just that he hadn’t got around to doing it and my chaser was sort of a reminder. Yeah right. So that’s where we are now, sort of. I had the follow up blood test and it came back disappointing because it’s largely the same as the week before which meant I didn’t make much progress this week. In fact one of those that had been dropping went up by a bit even. Doc didn’t call back this time, and I am left wondering if he hadn’t or he wouldn’t. Hence on this note I’m not scheduled for further blood tests to verify if progress is still on track. I don’t feel hindered physically, even if I hadn’t resumed exercise much, but I can last through the whole day without feeling too tired, I’ve been back at work in office everyday, appetite is largely there though I’ve been watching the volume of food a bit because the random bloated feeling still resurfaces every now and then. I haven’t been able to sleep through the night because I’d wake up at least once scratching to relieve itch which is the part that I wish will go away soonest. Mentally I was feeling upbeat last week but this week’s result had me feeling slightly depressed over how long drawn the recovery process can be. Though I think I will be ok! For those of you (including my future self) who have stuck through this very long post. Haha. Labels: updates |
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2025 so far
posted : Monday, June 30, 2025
Before this actually turns into a travel blog…thought I should post some life updates. No, not the ones you (and I maybe) are hoping for.
So half of the year has gone by. Lots have happened I guess, including the usual suspects - CNY, travels, work, birthday. A couple of maybe unusual suspects which sort of included travels too? But all in all nothing too exhausting. Doing this in point form this time round.
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CEA
posted : Friday, October 11, 2024
In the midst of the roller coaster of a month..I forgot I was supposed to write about this other experience, which was a minor (?) health scare.
So I went for my usual annual health screening, and results were great at first glance. Cholesterol dropped by quite a bit, all other indicators are normal other than the fact that I was still overweight with a fair bit of body fat percentage to work off. Except this CEA tumor marker which was above normal levels, and didn’t trigger any alarms until I checked last year’s report and realized that it has been above normal for two years in a row now. There’s a free follow up consultation for doctor to go through your report with you, which I usually ignore but thought it may be good to get some interpretation on what the elevated marker meant so booked a teleconsultation slot. Doc suggested that I can go for a specialist consultation and I agreed. Was expecting to get a recommendation letter that I can use to go find a specialist on my own (now come to think of it, if I had to do it myself I probably would end up procrastinating), but turns out clinic just helped me arrange for one and next thing I know the specialist clinic (colorectal specialist) had texted to arrange for a consultation. Duly went for the consultation. Specialist said such tests are usually not conclusive to begin with - just because it’s elevated doesn’t mean you have something, and just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you don’t have anything. Urgh fine. But, he added on to say, since I have already consulted him, he is obliged to recommend that I go for further tests which I kind of agreed to do. It was to involve CT scan, and also endoscopy and colonoscopy. Arranged for the sessions and before I knew it I was paying like $2k for the consultation and CT scan with the colonoscopy charges yet to come. And despite the clinic very matter-of-factly assuming that this can be claimed from insurance, there’s a bit of panic in me. And also it may mean I gotta pay a higher premium or something next year urgh, and I was regretting a bit for letting them arrange everything for me at a private clinic instead of public hospital. But oh well it is what it is. This was the week before I went home, so I scheduled both the CT scan and the scopes for the week after I came back. The CT scan was a bit uneventful other than the fact that the nurse kept telling me drink up before the scan, and the injection of a “contrast” left me with a huge bruise that took a couple of weeks to dissipate. It was the colonoscopy that was much more interesting. I was to do bowel prep before the session, which technically is considered a day surgery. Idea is I had to clear my bowels so that they don’t get any nasty surprises when they insert the scope, on either end of my digestive system. Oh to make things easier I was also supposed to avoid certain foods three days before the procedure, mostly fibrous food which is understandable, and also milk and cheese for some reason. And special emphasis on mushrooms. Lol both doc and nurse were like “yeah we always find mushrooms when we do the scope” and made a disgusted face so that advice really stuck with me and I made it a point to not disappoint them hahaha. Back to bowel prep, on the morning of the procedure I was given 3 packets of laxatives, each packet was to be mixed with 1L of water (!) and to be drunk an hour apart, which meant I had to down 3 liters of water in 3 hours. The thought was quite daunting, though what I kind of didn’t expect was that the effect was so instantaneous. Within 10 minutes of the first packet (which tasted terrible btw, nurse recommended mixing it with honey but it didn’t help much imo) I can feel my stomach turning and 5 minutes later I couldn’t hold it in anymore and just went to explode (sorry). I ended up going to toilet like every 20minutes eventually and so most of the 3 liters of water didn’t actually stay in the body, makes it easier to keep chugging down the mixture. By the middle of the second hour whatever I was expelling was actually very clean already (it should be a clear yellowish liquid) so I felt super clean inside lolol. But yeah I wouldn’t want to do this again primarily coz it just tasted terrible. Smartly scheduled the op on a Friday so I can WFH in the morning while doing bowel prep (and office wouldn’t have been a very conducive environment for this) and luckily I had the whole weekend to recover from this even if that wasn’t the initial intention because I didn’t think it would be that taxing, more on that later. In fact I thought I would be out and about by mid afternoon and can go for a cafe run in the area but little did I know. Anyway, made my way to Mt Alvernia around noon (recommendation was to take Grab but I gamely took bus instead). Registered, had all the costs explained to me (it ended up costing about $5k) and that they will file a claim to insurance company so didn’t have to do anything (though at the back of my mind I was like what if the claim got rejected), then was brought up to the ward, though had to fork out I think 50cents to purchase a mask. Like pffft you all charged so much and couldn’t just include a mask? Assigned a bed, and then I was told that my procedure was scheduled at 3.30pm (oh so late ah?).
Changed to a surgery gown and then it’s a lot of waiting, hooked up to various tubes to monitor my vitals, being wheeled around on my bed to various stations, and answering questions repeatedly on whether I ate or drank this morning. Kind of listless by the time I entered the op room, and also really hungry coz I hadn’t ate anything since the evening before and I was looking forward to cafe. I was to be sedated for the procedure. Which is understandable coz I guess having something up your ass probing around your insides doesn’t sound like an enjoyable or comfortable process. Prior to that there’s a lot of indemnity forms etc that I had signed confirming that doc had explained to me the risks of the procedures and all, but I may have missed the part that I would be completely unconscious lol. I really thought I’d be conscious, just that I won’t feel like maybe the bottom half of my body or something but no. I remembered doc telling me to stay awake for as long as possible, then I was conscious of me drooling through the mouthpiece, I probably blinked once then I was gone hahahahah. Coz the next thing I know someone was waking me up and telling me that it’s over and I was like, huh? The whole 断片 experience was kinda novel for me I dunno why. And slightly disappointing coz I kinda want to know how the procedure was conducted, just without the discomfort. Oh well. Doc asked me if I remembered anything, I was like no and he went “Good! That’s what we want.” And I was left with a wtf just happened feeling.
Anyway, wheeled back to the ward, got to eat finally and chose bread/milo over porridge but damn, my next bed neighbour had porridge and it actually smelled really good. Nurse came over with a fully completed report and went about explaining to me - basically mostly good except that they found a polyps (first time hearing this term, had to google) in my stomach and removed it, and will be conducting some tests on it. Arranged for a follow up consultation, gave me meds and basically that was it. But my blood pressure was still quite low so had to wait for it to go back up, ward nurse came over to monitor once in a while and when it finally went above 100 she discharged me. And that was close to 7pm, so much for having the PM off hahaha. Though I still went to cafe for dinner.  Only photo I had from the whole experience lol coz phone was mostly locked away and I don’t take selfies often  Post op meal was great though And so it turns out that having the whole weekend to recover was really a smart choice coz I actually needed it. Saturday I was feeling a bit lethargic and late afternoon when I went to gym, my head started throbbing after a slightly heavier lat pulldown set and I had to give up the entire session (luckily it wasn’t a paid one, just my own training in condo gym). There was a warning to avoid strenuous exercises and I didn’t think gym counted as one hahahah. But the next afternoon I went for a scheduled PT session and it was alright already. Follow up, the polyps was found to be benign. CT scan also didn’t turn up anything abnormal. Doc said I am alright, can repeat the tumor marker test next year and if it’s still above normal then that just means this is my baseline already and I should be ok if it’s maintained at this level. And the advice is to repeat colonoscopy when I’m in my 40s so nurse was like, “we’ll call you to set up a consultation in about 10 years time!” lol I don’t know if they are being serious or not. So that’s the end of the whole episode! I didn’t think much about going through the whole thing alone, because I’m very used to it at this point in my life but I was kinda grateful that I had a couple of friends that checked in on me throughout the afternoon after they found out I was doing this, both of which had parents with cancer so were quite familiar with the process so they thought it was a big deal and kinda chided me for not taking it very seriously lol (really, I found it more interesting rather than scary). So that was really nice. 10 years later, then. Labels: updates |
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The non-trip
posted : Saturday, September 28, 2024
Yikes, time to knock out a quick post before September ends.
Bit of roller coaster this month in the sense that I got my hopes up and excited about something, then only to be brought back down to earth. But it’s okay I guess, coz there’s something to look forward next month again. So between the last post and this, well I went for my annual trip back home. These days any time away from work is always welcomed and while there’s obligations as usual, I think they are more spread out and less intense, maybe it helped that calendar is such that I only appeared on the last couple of days so that minimizes my involvement (and effort). So rightfully I had more time for myself but I ended up catching a cold right after the event which meant I spent a few of my precious leave days trying (and failing) to suppress it, and recovering from it. Which was annoying but oh well it is what it is.
Then the roller coaster. So I got very excited when I was notified, not very long before my trip home, that I was to join in a study trip by our sister department, to Europe no less. The original dates were right before my own Europe trip (like I was to arrive in Sg, then fly off the next day for my own trip lol) which I had some reservations if I should 做傻事 because it looked like a very packed schedule and I think I would just crash during my own trip which I meant to enjoy. And of course paperwork when we return though it was never something I minded much. But my sister and some colleagues told me I should (“you can just continue to live in Europe time zone!”). So I accepted it.
Then the dates got shifted to one month before which works out in my favor, and got extended even to include one more city. But somehow the pace on trip planning was slow (engaging the various agencies and hosts to plan out a program), and I was expecting a lot to be settled when I was away at home but I came back and pretty much nothing moved. And the budget ain’t looking pretty coz the two bosses leading the trip were entitled to business class seats and boy, they were 5 figures coz of how last minute this trip is. So there were definitely alarm bells and when it finally rang loud and clear, I got axed from the trip in a bid to bring down budget. And in the end I wasn’t super upset about missing out on the trip (definitely not gonna miss the work) but I was annoyed about two things - for one, there are much better ways to bring down costs (those business class tickets!) when axing me only moved the needle by a bit coz I only made up like 10% of the budget at most. Secondly, why was I the one axed when people who are less relevant to the program are still going for it? And it left me shaking my head at this particular leadership thought, technical or not. Though I was promised that I will be considered for the other trip to Asia (which are also all the cities I liked, Tokyo Seoul HK) but that has little relevance to my line of work and lesson learnt to not keep hopes high so yep totally no expectations there. So I got over this disappointment relatively quickly (even if I can’t help complaining about it once in a while) and instead channeled my anticipation towards my next trip in Oct. Which was one year in the making! 355 days to be exact but yeah. I think that alone deserves a post (and more) on its own. Till then. Labels: updates |
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Covid, take 3
posted : Monday, August 05, 2024
第三次冠病之旅～
病痛程度感觉上是前两次之间，即没有第一次那般痛苦（那次要到第三天才爬得下床），也没有第二次那般轻松（那次则是连自己中招了都不知道）。 烧了一晚所以第二天基本上是在补眠，过后才慢慢恢复体力，不过T线到第五天才开始消失。 原本打算星期五居家复工，偏偏星期四晚上又没睡好，所以索性直接拿了三天病假加上周末，就这样宅在家里五天。 星期四精神稍好后有开始清电邮，星期五也工作了好几小时。
不过大部分清醒时间，除了规划一下每餐吃（打包）什么，其余的时间都用来…追奥运。嘻嘻！ 这一病还来的真是时候。没病的话应该也会熬夜看重播吧，这回趁病假直接看直播哈哈哈。 也没觉得特别内疚，毕竟工作那几个小时都有把该处理的事都处理好，星期一复工的时候也不会落在后头。 但有时想想，瞧自己开心成这个样子，难不成真的那么不喜欢工作吗。 希望放个假，休息一下，能够充够电，至少要耐三个星期，到时又可以放假啦。
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One month on
posted : Friday, September 02, 2022
Stock take after one month.
The anticipated workload still hasn’t arrived. Reflected a bit, and what I mentioned in my last post was still valid - it’s a smaller pie, more than enough manpower, and not much random side tasks yet. And apparently based on “stats” that have been re-examined again (because others highlight the unjust) the demand for manpower is really there such that I am even getting an additional guy (?!). So I can’t refuse I guess (or it’ll look like I am challenging her authority), nor can I look directly into others’ eyes zzzz. It’s a happy problem to have I guess, so maybe I shouldn’t be complaining. I do feel like team is warming up to me though? I suppose they are really just missing someone to be there for them and I could (because previously they were short of manpower and the leader was too swamped filling gaps). So it’s fortunate I guess. Right place at the right time. Oh that and the fact that I knew what I was doing of course (wuiseh). One of the more memorable events so far was when I got into a heated conversation with a counterpart which everybody disliked/had given up on in front of the entire team/neighboring team and came out of the call on the somewhat winning end. I think they looked like they wanted to give me a standing ovation after I hung up LOL so that maybe boosted my credentials a bit - though what they didn’t realize is that I felt so mentally exhausted after that, and not exactly looking forward to further calls with said counterpart. Side tasks wise, I do have one big task which only just got started, so as usual when there’s pressure to perform I…procrastinate. Yikes. Some things never change. And I have been promised further responsibilities, which was said so often that I am a bit annoyed at their confidence in it, because I felt like I am being lulled into this sense of…I don’t quite know how to put it. I am not mad at being shouldered said responsibility (because that’s what I came for, if I were to be truthful about it) but why y’all think it’s a done deal when you don’t call the shots? Can very well be overturned mah. And if that does happens at this point I am gonna be so upset because y’all were so confident about it. Oh well. So one month on, at least the doubts haven’t set in, even if fatigue has started, energy levels not as high, and I find myself researching for hols hahah. Well good news is CNY is only just 4.5 months away, and my next hol is actually even nearer so there’s things to look forward to. |
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Wrapping up 2021
posted : Friday, December 31, 2021
To be honest, amidst the flurry of activities (or maybe just that one major event) happening in November and December…I only remembered that I am supposed to write this post at about 4.30pm, as I was trying to recall what happened on NYE last year.
So 2021! It’s disappointing that the world hasn’t quite returned to normal, and living with the new normal isn’t going as planned either. Disappointing because at this point last year our cases were under control and there’s so much hope with first shipments of vaccines arriving. One year on and two highly transmissible variants later, we have taken one step back even in terms of things like socializing. So lesson learnt, not gonna have high hopes for 2022. But otherwise - what else happened in 2021? ************ That big event I mentioned above - taking the plunge and buying my first home. It was something that has been on my radar for a while, and ever since I got citizenship last year I have started looking, with the intention of shifting in by the time my ongoing rental lease ends. It didn’t happen because I procrastinated a bit (and my heart was in Brunei since Aug last year) so timeline would have been a bit tight. So negotiated a new short term lease (came with increased rent oh well) and effective set myself a deadline of 31 Dec. This gave the whole project a bit of urgency and thus I function a bit better. Long story short (because the long story is in other posts), place found, sort of got pushed into it but I think largely no regrets. Renovation or rather sprucing up the place was unexpectedly draining, but I think I’m rather pleased with the results so I think that’s worth it, though I still wouldn’t want to go through that anytime soon. Still very thankful that this happened while WFH which made a lot of things easier to coordinate. The house is now a home! There’s this niggling feeling about being in debt from now on, but managed to convince myself that this is not too different from paying rental, at least from the perspective of my bank account. And of course a couple of years down the road I can be on the lookout for another place again once I became eligible, age wise or partner wise hahah. For now, hoping all goes well in the new place. ************ Work wise, I think I am in a much better place as compared to this time last year. No more random panic attacks and self doubt of my capabilities, and I think my vision cleared up. It does help that I have a lot more to do than this time last year, helped by the fact that a colleague resigned and I had to cover. But the extra exposures I was promised never came, either due to the same reason or D’s lack of faith in my ability (wait, what happened to no self doubt lol). Well, their loss. But either way, I know the path I want to take. It’s the understanding and acceptance that it’s ok to prefer to stay in comfort zone and not strike out. That if you are not going to learn further than there’s not much point. Just that it’s my nature that sometimes I can’t help pondering if it’s gonna be the right one, considering the climate. Will I be able to tune out the unfavorable parts of the job and focus on the good ones, making sure it outweighs the other? We’ll see in 2022! ************ So travel is mostly still ground to a halt, at least in Asian countries - western world is just happily going around. Honestly if you ask me if we are going to live with virus in an endemic stage, all travel should resume without any tedious restrictions - because the idea is that this is nothing more than a flu which nobody gave a hoot. But lo and behold we are still stuck where we are, going through cycles of loosening and tightening restrictions. Went for a couple of staycations which were similarly disrupted zzz. It’s the stress of having to change plans and adapt on the fly that is deterring me from flying when some restrictions are loosened. Not to mention the idea of your stay overseas getting extended unexpectedly because you are not allowed to board the flight home if you happen to test positive. Ironically, not so much about actually catching the virus itself because I’m vaccinated and I got my health in order. That said, extremely relieved to be able to travel home at the beginning of the year. Was in a mess mentally at that point, and that’s all I wanted to do. I got what I needed, and that long break did wonders in terms of resetting myself. I was eyeing another attempt at Switzerland/Austria as a in-between-job trip again for 2022, but like I said I don’t have high hopes for it - instead it’s looking like another long trip at home during that period. Unfortunately there’s a high chance that I won’t get to be at home during CNY because work commitments meant I couldn’t afford more than a week off and situation is just too volatile now. But oddly I am at peace with that. I am not too upset about it (this would have triggered a full scale meltdown last year) and I am not even sure why - but I am not going to question it. Or maybe family/friends can visit me if situation permits, now that there’s room hehe. ************ About health - no major scares. Fitness level have stalled and I think I basically stopped pushing hard post-CNY. Partly because the feedback I got when I went home was that I was too skinny lol. I was like "there's no such thing as too skinny" but sometimes I do get that sense when I looked at photos of myself. So let go a bit, and it's about maintaining the range of weight I want to be at and switching focus to building up my frame instead. But I guess there's not much progress on that front either because most of the time I dont really know whether I was doing things correctly and if my form was right etc. And I still can't do a pull up properly sigh. Let's see if we can improve on that next year. Skin on the other hand...also nothing much to report on? Stopped phototherapy last year, stopped oral medication altogether this year which was meant to be temporary initially in preparation of vaccination but doctor did tell me I can stop if I dont see any major issues so I just decided not to continue with it after vaccination. And there wasnt major flare ups so I guess I am off meds as well. Even though the discolorations are still attracting unwanted stares so tried to ask doc for something, but it didnt really work out well sigh. So still gotta live with it for a bit and try to find a solution for it. ************ WFH is not helping with social life, though I think I am starting to revert back to my anti-social self and dread returning to office. Maybe that was just a phase last year hahah. But now that there's home...where's family? ************ If I were to be honest this year does seem to fly past. First quarter was about before/during/after going home, second quarter was about house hunting and going through with the buying process, third quarter went by without much happening, final quarter really just sped past with all the house stuff going on. Not that I am complaining though. 2022...is going to see changes again. Fingers crossed it's for the better. Labels: milestones, thoughts, updates, wrapping up |
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Wrapping up 2020
posted : Thursday, December 31, 2020
Latest in the wrapping up series! Well, 2020. Sure went EXACTLY as what everybody is expecting it to. Much as I didnt want to...everything that happened this year revolved around this, save for the first couple of weeks of the year I think. And it's such a global thing that there is no escaping from it no matter where you are - one way or another, someone's life this year would have been affected by it. So the typical sections of my annual review - each of them inevitably featured COVID's impact, either as the main or supporting character. ************ Maybe let's start with the big one. To be honest, I have to be very grateful here - certainly there is a segment of the population whose livelihood have been majorly affected, and others to varying degrees, but mine is more towards a lower scale. For one, have stayed healthy - as with the other 99% of the population - because we got things under control to start, then when all hell breaks loose - the CB did its job to allow us to regrasp control which we have hung on to it for a while. Sure, there's the initial messaging that masks are not required (because we chose to believe in CDC - what do we know, wow) and the occasional odd and inconsistent application of policy but overall the numbers speak for itself. And may we never lose control of it again. People lose jobs, sectors of the economy shuttered completely (think travel industry), many stopped working during CB and never got their jobs back...none of it happened to me. Iron rice bowl indeed - the performance bonus in March still came against all odds (even though that turned out to be the last one we received this year and the rest got cancelled), no salary cuts etc. We are even able to move swiftly to a WFH mode and work as usual. Of course a lot of improvisation is required but everybody just have to make it work - because we realised soon enough that we arent returning to office anytime soon. So it ran so smoothly that I think it is now something that will stay in the long term. It certainly changed people's perception and changes a lot of things in future - office spaces reimagined, heck, office use itself reimagined. In some ways it forces people out of their comfort zone and showed them alternative arrangements can work - they just needed to adapt. For me, WFH was a novelty to begin with - I remember the excitement in spite of everything else that is going on around me when we were told to start split team arrangement and take turns to work at home. That first week was fun, then it morphed into a full WFH mode and CB started. Waking up 5 minutes before work starts, and being at home the minute we knock off. The weekly grocery trips which comes with bubble tea (until bubble tea shops are ordered to close sigh). The frequent Grabfood orders which became less frequent coz it's not cheap urgh. Experimenting with various recipes and eventually got bored of it and now I am just repeating recipes which I am familiar with (and worked). Getting bored of WFH and actually craving for social interaction to the extent that I am the one organizing catch up sessions imagine that. So I definitely think that our future working mode should be a hybrid and highly flexible one. Maybe a couple of days in office per week, and other days at home. Would be useful to attend to home issues e.g. I can easily get the air con guy to come in on a weekday now. Schedule deliveries etc. ************ Speaking about forcing people out of comfort zone...when I think back about 2020, undoubtedly the other big thing that happen is my transfer. Making changes at work is something that popped up in my mind every once in a while, but it finally happened this year. Not that I actively sought it out (had that been the case, it probably wont happen because of my usual fear for change) but nevertheless, I was happy to welcome it. 8 years in my past job, I was feeling kind of jaded towards the end and fed up at several things that I felt a sore need to shake things up. In fact towards the end the vibe was very much "bye I am outta here and never coming back". I think I kinda send out my farewell email in that tone lol. But dont get me wrong - I am proud of the work I have done, especially for RAG. It got on my nerves sometimes, there are a couple of times when I was very upset about it and ranted, but I am mostly thankful for the opportunity. And I do look back fondly on those days in the second half of the year. There's always a basis for comparison now - be it the work, or the leadership. I have preferences in different aspects. I like the very much shallower structure, but I miss the camaraderie. I miss being in control and being able to send out an assessment on my own - either because I am now unsure, and at any rate that is my boss' style anyway. WFH meant it's almost impossible to gel with your new colleagues, though I am half glad that majority of my new teammates are not unfamiliar faces even if we only knew each other professionally in the past. It's a lot harder to also pick up subtle nuances such as your boss' preference (really, the email can sound agressive but she probably dont mean it), or when she is free for discussions etc. At the end of the day, I think the work is meaningful, I am able to apply my past experience in some aspects of it, but for some strange reason the workload sharply declined towards the final quarter of the year that I don't learn as much, and so I never really felt that I have settled down fully because you really only learn from cases. At some point I got all depressed about not contributing much and wishing that I was back in former division (which, btw, was VERY happening) - to the point that I contemplated throwing letter without a follow up plan - but eventually came around it. Which was good news because my December was....let's just say, I am glad to be WFH during this December because I wont get judged for my lack of activity. So happened that I had a chat with my D just this morning - and at the very least I know what to expect now. This conversation really should have happened before I joined if I had my way, but oh well better late than never. I now know that there really was a plan in place for me to be exposed to different aspects that will be helpful to me when I move on (which I clarified that it may or may not happen), so I find that generosity very heartening. Unlike COVID - I think my workload will spike magically at the turn of the year. And I think I am mostly looking forward to it. ************ So with travel restrictions left right centre - no travels for most of this year. I think coming in to the year I was actually envisioning this year to be one where I put in a couple more travel plans than usual...and in the end there's nothing. Not even home sigh. Which played a part in why I got all depressed some time in Aug and Sep, traditionally my half-yearly break at home. Obviously not my planned break before transfer either - which was a shame. I mean I dont think it made much of a difference in the end, but it's still a bummer. On a positive note, did manage to squeeze in two trips at the beginning of the year - though barely made it for both. The first one, the usual BKK+home CNY trip, very nearly didnt happen too as cases are starting to trickle in and we already had to make more declarations than usual - to HR, for instance. The second trip, to KL for San's wedding - was nothing short of miraculous. I had jokingly declared that I would make the trip even if I had to resort to 偷渡, but there are already clusters of cases by then although they can still all be traced, and one week after we returned from the wedding the mega tabligh cluster in KL broke out (which spreaded to Bru too). And we all know what happened after that. So I was very thankful for that bright spot in an otherwise downright dreadful year when it comes to travel. And you know what else there is to be thankful for, as the year came to a close? Barring a disastrous pre-flight test, I am all but clear to be home for the next CNY :))) Praying very hard that situation remains stable in both countries. ************ This would probably rank higher in my review had it be a normal year, but 15 years after first stepping foot on this island, I am now a citizen. On the surface I dont see major differences - it doesnt change my roots, my character, but I guess it's nice to called a citizen in the country you reside in for once. COVID played a part too, but as it turns out I didnt have to wait too long for the citizenship ceremony where you receive your new IC from the MP, maybe because it was Sept by the time I took my oath and officially became one of SG. It opens the door to a few things - property ownership (without an extra 5% of stamp duty), for one. Though some procrastination later and I now no longer have time to do so before my latest tenancy expires (in part because I planned to be away for a month soon). But that shall be a project for 2021. ************ Health and fitness! Kept up my routine from last year and I think I am where I wanted to be, so eased up by May and it's all about maintaining it now. And building up shape which isnt progressing very well actually. I dont see much difference even after months of effort though admittedly, I dont quite know what I was doing. Fiddled around with the idea of having a PT but I dont think if I really needed it, like, is that really what I wanted? It's just nice to have. And more like "if they can, why not me?" Still, its amusing sometimes to bump into someone I havent seen in a while (there's plenty of them, at this rate) and observe the varying reaction. Another milestone is that I stopped going for phototherapy. Doctor agreed with my self-assessment (really I dont know why I am paying him so much for consultation when I am the one assessing) that my condition has stabilised and I can cut back on my medication (now just one pill per fortnight) and stop phototherapy altogether. The bad news is that there's a bit of localised flare ups, the good news is that it is very much controllable so I suppose we can stick to this routine, which is what I will propose to doc for the next review. ************ Well COVID isnt going away magically at the turn of the year, so I suppose next year will be largely similar in that we are just going to have to keep finding ways to adapt, to get used to the so called new normal, and not lose hope - vaccinations are starting even if more convincing will be needed, and so COVID will go away eventually and life will return to normal as we know it. It must. Labels: COVID, milestones, thoughts, updates, wrapping up |
