So 2021! It’s disappointing that the world hasn’t quite returned to normal, and living with the new normal isn’t going as planned either. Disappointing because at this point last year our cases were under control and there’s so much hope with first shipments of vaccines arriving. One year on and two highly transmissible variants later, we have taken one step back even in terms of things like socializing. So lesson learnt, not gonna have high hopes for 2022. 

But otherwise - what else happened in 2021? 

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That big event I mentioned above - taking the plunge and buying my first home. 

It was something that has been on my radar for a while, and ever since I got citizenship last year I have started looking, with the intention of shifting in by the time my ongoing rental lease ends. It didn’t happen because I procrastinated a bit (and my heart was in Brunei since Aug last year) so timeline would have been a bit tight. So negotiated a new short term lease (came with increased rent oh well) and effective set myself a deadline of 31 Dec. This gave the whole project a bit of urgency and thus I function a bit better. 

Long story short (because the long story is in other posts), place found, sort of got pushed into it but I think largely no regrets. Renovation or rather sprucing up the place was unexpectedly draining, but I think I’m rather pleased with the results so I think that’s worth it, though I still wouldn’t want to go through that anytime soon. Still very thankful that this happened while WFH which made a lot of things easier to coordinate. 

The house is now a home! There’s this niggling feeling about being in debt from now on, but managed to convince myself that this is not too different from paying rental, at least from the perspective of my bank account. And of course a couple of years down the road I can be on the lookout for another place again once I became eligible, age wise or partner wise hahah. 

For now, hoping all goes well in the new place. 

Work wise, I think I am in a much better place as compared to this time last year. No more random panic attacks and self doubt of my capabilities, and I think my vision cleared up. It does help that I have a lot more to do than this time last year, helped by the fact that a colleague resigned and I had to cover. But the extra exposures I was promised never came, either due to the same reason or D’s lack of faith in my ability (wait, what happened to no self doubt lol). Well, their loss. 

But either way, I know the path I want to take. It’s the understanding and acceptance that it’s ok to prefer to stay in comfort zone and not strike out. That if you are not going to learn further than there’s not much point. Just that it’s my nature that sometimes I can’t help pondering if it’s gonna be the right one, considering the climate. Will I be able to tune out the unfavorable parts of the job and focus on the good ones, making sure it outweighs the other? 

We’ll see in 2022! 

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So travel is mostly still ground to a halt, at least in Asian countries - western world is just happily going around. Honestly if you ask me if we are going to live with virus in an endemic stage, all travel should resume without any tedious restrictions - because the idea is that this is nothing more than a flu which nobody gave a hoot. But lo and behold we are still stuck where we are, going through cycles of loosening and tightening restrictions. Went for a couple of staycations which were similarly disrupted zzz.

It’s the stress of having to change plans and adapt on the fly that is deterring me from flying when some restrictions are loosened. Not to mention the idea of your stay overseas getting extended unexpectedly because you are not allowed to board the flight home if you happen to test positive. Ironically, not so much about actually catching the virus itself because I’m vaccinated and I got my health in order. 

That said, extremely relieved to be able to travel home at the beginning of the year. Was in a mess mentally at that point, and that’s all I wanted to do. I got what I needed, and that long break did wonders in terms of resetting myself. 

I was eyeing another attempt at Switzerland/Austria as a in-between-job trip again for 2022, but like I said I don’t have high hopes for it - instead it’s looking like another long trip at home during that period. Unfortunately there’s a high chance that I won’t get to be at home during CNY because work commitments meant I couldn’t afford more than a week off and situation is just too volatile now. But oddly I am at peace with that. I am not too upset about it (this would have triggered a full scale meltdown last year) and I am not even sure why - but I am not going to question it. 

Or maybe family/friends can visit me if situation permits, now that there’s room hehe. 

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About health - no major scares. Fitness level have stalled and I think I basically stopped pushing hard post-CNY. Partly because the feedback I got when I went home was that I was too skinny lol. I was like "there's no such thing as too skinny" but sometimes I do get that sense when I looked at photos of myself. So let go a bit, and it's about maintaining the range of weight I want to be at and switching focus to building up my frame instead. But I guess there's not much progress on that front either because most of the time I dont really know whether I was doing things correctly and if my form was right etc. And I still can't do a pull up properly sigh. Let's see if we can improve on that next year.

Skin on the other hand...also nothing much to report on? Stopped phototherapy last year, stopped oral medication altogether this year which was meant to be temporary initially in preparation of vaccination but doctor did tell me I can stop if I dont see any major issues so I just decided not to continue with it after vaccination. And there wasnt major flare ups so I guess I am off meds as well. Even though the discolorations are still attracting unwanted stares so tried to ask doc for something, but it didnt really work out well sigh. So still gotta live with it for a bit and try to find a solution for it.

WFH is not helping with social life, though I think I am starting to revert back to my anti-social self and dread returning to office. Maybe that was just a phase last year hahah. But now that there's home...where's family?