I have an opinion about this policy - albeit a seemingly unpopular opinion, but one which most experts echoed, and a good fraction of people of logical minds chose not to voice out in order to not get attacked by brainless keyboard warrior netizens. 

The thing is, I fully recognized that I don’t get to make the call. Public service has way too many layers and decision makers don’t often have the ground experience, or don’t often have the time nor humility to hear out those at working level. There are emotions involved in all of this. And of course there’s politics involved which makes things worse 101% of the time. 

I don’t make the call. I execute. It is not what I recommended, but I recognize that I gotta carry it out, and I was fully prepared to. 

But this is when the layers in between started making things tricky. Imagine level 1 is the highest decision making authority and I am at level 10 now. Levels 2-9 all have varying levels of support and ideas about the decision. Some are fully supportive and damn gung ho about it. Some are cautious. Some are against it and want to openly push for a more conservative approach. Some are against it and want to subtly push for a more conservative approach. Some want to please both sides. Some have a different agenda altogether. And I am reporting to all of them.

Guess who is the one runnnig around preparing updates to each level and platform, each time coming back with a different view and direction? Last week was a hell week rushing for one update but I was feeling optimistic about it coz the project is moving. I end this week getting confused about the whole thing. How to not be fed up, I ask you?

I got fed up some time this week and stopped acting on it, and chose to wait for further clearer instructions before I pass it down to levels 11 and beyond. Because what’s the point? This whole thing is so volatile now, whether it was meant to be or not.

Luckily this is not my first day in public service so I think I can still manage this, as irritating as it may be. Just that I probably need more weekends and public holidays and maybe getaways to help me through this so I am actively planning for one now heh. 

We’ll see how it goes next week.