Just finished Oral Defence for the position paper. Which means only two more steps left in my quest to get rid of CTW.

I hope I don't fail it. I really hope.

Oral Defence was bad. I completely didnt expect my tutor to ask me those questions. Yea, technically they are still related to my topic, but I was completely stunned and I stumbled throughout answering her questions, which I didnt at times and she had to visibly do her best to pull me back on track.

Worst still, to have somebody who took full opportunity of ur failure to rack up some points for himself coz, even though position paper is a group thingy, oral defence is graded individually.

I am feeling totally crappy. Since yesterday when I realize I have so many things to catch up for statics and mechanics.

And the feeling got worse after the oral defence. I went separate ways with my two other group mates, who were heading for a same lecture. I can almost picture what they were saying after I left.

"Wahlao, that Seng Yen ah, hopeless la...I dun think he even noe what he is saying."

I wont be surprised if they reli said that. I dont even think the tutor felt like writing a recommendation letter for my JDP application anymore, not after the disaster, even though she promised me she will churn out something by Monday.

Self-esteem heading towards a new low. Not good, not when exams are coming and the first two papers are the ones you dread most: CTW and Statics&Mechanics.

Wanted to cook lunch at first, then decided to spend more time preparing for Oral defence so decided to eat in Engin after OD. Din feel like walking with my groupmates after the disaster, so decided to photocopy stuff at Central Lib first before going Engin. Then decided to just walk to YIH, but gave up coz weather was too hot. End up walking to the bus stop, thinking that maybe I should just go Clementi for a while if 96 comes before ISB-B. 96 came almost immediately, but ended up not boarding it again...decided to just take any bus that can take me to YIH. Was daydreaming on the bus so missed YIH stop and ended up skipping lunch entirely. And skipping tea too coz I dun reli like tau-sah-pao.

Wahhhhhh...weird weird emotions sia. Even the post seem very fragmented.

Labels: CTW, emo, rants