Vacation has been living up to (my) hype so far. 

There really is no place like home with family and friends. I went a bit crazy satisfying my food cravings, being fed like a pig and at all sorts of hours (guess I have earned the right to binge). Meeting my BFFs (they are the ones that matter) almost every other day. Being the family driver and running errands. Even squeezing in a couple of runs in an attempt to slightly negate all that eating lol (it’s not even CNY yet, as we speak). 

Slept a lot too. Honestly the sleep quality the week and half before my trip was bad - the paranoia of not being able to make my trip if COVID associated symptoms showed up (regardless of whether I contracted it) or case numbers spiking in SG that necessitate lengthy quarantine, etc. Even after I arrived the first two nights in hotel I didn’t sleep well, but the moment I reached home proper I slept like a baby everyday. The wonders of home. 

And perhaps best of all, being away from work. The first couple of days I was still having this irrational fear of my work phone ringing with boss checking with me on stuff - because the last week and a half at work was madness and I cleared so many things on my own (by that I meant sending over to my boss for vetting without prior discussion and if she doesn’t get back in time my colleague was supposed to help follow up) right down to the last minute (and beyond - I forcefully stopped work at 615pm on the night I was to fly by apologetically reminding my boss who called at 554pm wtf that I had a flight to catch). So she did say she will try not to disturb me but at the back of my mind I kind of felt obliged to let her disturb me, because after all she was understanding enough to allow leave at a very inconvenient time for the team. Still, there is this resentment on the idea of leave being disturbed but I think I managed to toss it out of the window after a couple of days hahaha. I mean, the only texts I got about work are from...my ex-team hahahah. And a colleague/friend checking in privately on something that is not related to my work. So yes, I think so far non-work life has been a blessing. 

Everything is falling so nicely into its place with maybe some stroke of luck - right from the pre-trip preparations, to the quarantine experience, to the absolute radio silence on work so far, to the completely amiable atmosphere at home - to an extent that I can’t help thinking that at some point, something must go wrong. I know that’s me over worrying for no reason, but that’s the mental state I have been in for a while now. 

I have even started dreading the day I have to leave and return to work. I don’t know what can get my engine going by that time. Maybe it will just be the sheer work volume that get me started, but I can foresee how blue it will be. I can only hope I am so fully recharged by then that I only have positive vibes going into it....wait why I am worrying about it now sigh. 

Did get me thinking if I should just make this permanent lol. How about I just skip bail and not go back? Right, just kidding. But maybe relocating home is not a bad idea..if there are suitable openings/opportunities. 

Oh well. For now, I guess I should just go back to enjoying the remaining two weeks of my holidays.

Labels: holidays, thoughts