This post was originally titled “我很忙” - a nod to an A-Lin song I recently discovered - but did a bit of reflection just as I was beginning to write this post and I realized...am I really that busy as I thought? I think I have definitely been busier at work - those days where I stayed back till 9 or 10 multiple days a week come to mind. So no, I am not really at that stage now. Maybe it’s really all about perception. 

So...yeah. What have I been up to.

September was spent at home, then entertaining couple of groups of ppl who came to visit including the sister who stayed for a week +, her longest yet. Then before I knew it, it’s October, which was almost spent exclusively on Lornie. The various discussions, drive throughs, and finally opening and monitoring. 

Then there’s the rag project. At the rate I am progressing I am surprised I still have a job hahahah *nervous laugh*

So who am I kidding. I am here really to rant about it. 

It should be really straight forward now that instruction has been given...but I am seeing so much red tape. So many details that is needed to secure funds for it. And what is killing me right now is the fact that I know full well that I could have dedicated more time and attention to it, and it would have moved that much faster. But instead, for some reason, when something else cropped up (like Lornie) I immediately decided to divert my attention towards it. Lost count of the number of days and weekends I brought my laptop home to try to work on it (or at least clear other work so that I can get to this when I am back in office), but ended up doing other things (such as trip planning).

Bottom line is, I could have focused on this more, but I didn’t. And the worst part is knowing and understanding all this, but not taking steps to correct it. Criticizing my staff for not prioritizing the right things, but doing so myself. Such a hypocrite. 

Heck, even my boss brought this up to my supervisor during ranking and I had the decency to get annoyed about it sigh. 

May this post be a reminder to myself then - that I should really buck up because right now, I am not liking this version of myself.