So it would appear that I havent posted a single word since Sepember. In reality, there have been quite a number of completed posts just sitting around in the draft folder, coz i hadnt attached photos to them haha. All my Australian trip blog posts. I dont even use my computer to blog anymore, its kind of nice to have settle down nicely on my bed and type out posts on my iPad. I got so used to it that typing on my laptop (which is what i am doing now) seemed so time consuming now. So many typos! But somehow editing on the iPad (for both the app and web) sucks so I still have to come back to my computer to insert the photos and arrange nicely.

Was contemplating doing this at all coz 2013 has been so....one note. At least compared to 2012 which was filled with so many milestones. 2013 is mostly about work, really. Couple of high notes and couple of changes, dont think there are really low notes unless you count the worsening skin condition (which isnt exactly a new thing). Still single. Haha.

High notes are definitely my holiday trips. Australia, which was both spontaneous and not, tops the highlights of the year. Wanted to go since some time back but almost let procrastination win over. Finally one fine day decided to just do it and there, wasnt too difficult haha. Thoroughly enjoyed that sense of freedom, can totally see myself doing it again but probably not for long holidays..halfway through it got a bit lonely but thankfully I was heading to Melbourne at that time to meet up with friends. Typically solo trips and backpacking, you would be making friends throughout but uh that's not exactly my specialty so yep.

There's also Ho Chi Minh with CVE friends! I am usually very anal about planning for trips (Taipei 2012 ahem) and for this round I really was so bogged down with work and the big elephant in the room that is housing issues soI just took the back seat, while trying to not feel those pangs of guilt. It turned out really refreshing and I almost think that the trip was unexpectedly good and i totally wouldnt mind another trip with this group of friends!

There's also the family CNY Bangkok trip, and squeezed out two trips back home. Grand total of 13 days at home this year which is the least ever (last year i only managed one trip home but at least that was one month long). Worst part is next year will probably see even less time at home, with even more work commitments, and a couple of months which i kind of blocked off coz boss will be away on maternity and i didnt think it's a good idea to leave 小花 in charge.  :(  As for trips, no solo trips planned. Prelim plans include a end of year Korea trip and possibly a summer trip to London with the sister. Never a fan of Korea but two appealing points: besties and snow. If all my previous trips taught me anything, company is just as important, if not more important than the sights. Though not too sure if trip with the sister will be disastrous or not hahaha. Or if I would rather stay go home instead of trip coz I have limited time at home.

Oh wait. There's CNY which I will be going home! And that is in about 3 weeks time! *Mood lifts*

Work - need i say more? It is still never ending. Not sure if you can call this progression coz I wasnt responsible for it but I am now the most senior engineer in my team. Wondering if that merits a promotion next year. I have more individual projects now. Not to mention that big one which I don't know if I should rejoice about. Having very conflicting feelings about it now coz I dont want to affect others and trigger reshuffling within my team because of what I see as personal gain. It does help that my area size isnt as big as some other people I will admit, so probably I can still take it? I hope my skin agrees with that.

I don't know how my future in this job will be like, but for now I will go with the flow.

Shifted house in July. Staying under other people's roof now and I hated that idea. I hated it so much. I am not sure if I hated it more than staying together with him. But I didnt have a choice. I would hate the idea of spending 1k a month more. At least this is the 2013 version of me saying it. I might change my mind if I am more financially capable. Mum is suggesting I buy property here, somehow that idea seemed very far-fetched and laughable at the moment. I am thinking I might go resettle back home in future but apparently my parents dont think so. I don't know, they probably know me way better than I do. Right now I just have to be content with renting. I never feel comfortable even though I know my landlady is very hospitable and nice. I still find myself roaming coming back after 8pm on purpose during workdays and aimlessly roaming outside on weekends. Call me biased.

Now on to the upcoming year (gotta make this quick half an hour left).

New Year wishes? Nah, they never come true. I have been wishing the same thing every year and every birthday and at every wishing gimmick. It never happens.

Resolutions? I duno if I will ever find will to make it happen but here goes:

- To eat healthy. That is a big deal for me and will take a lot of restrain. For a start, maybe just eliminate fried stuff from my diet.

- To exercise more regularly. That takes a lot of will. Not sure if writing it down here will magically motivate me more.

- To begin on a new treatment regimen. For a start, I will need to visit polyclinic for a referral letter, then make regular visits to NSC. Maybe get some help mentally. I feel that I am really alone when it comes to this. Friends, even the closest ones dont voluntarily ask me about this anymore, I dont know if it is because of my defensive attitude whenever I am on this topic. I remember the occasions when I got really upset with strangers who asked, or worse still, retreated as if I am some sort of contagious freak. It hurts real bad. I also know I am rejecting help from family, most of the times not in the kindest manner but mainly because I always feel that they never understand what is going on. And they got upset for all the wrong reasons coz they believe I gave up on myself. Probably to some extent that is true, so I will try to reverse that.

- To invest less emotions at work. That will be tough. Will really need to learn that. Coz the more detached I am, the less likely I will get depressed over it. Right now I get worked up over brainless accusations on major company projects that I am not even remotely involved in. Though investing less emotions also probably mean less passion which may make work even more insufferable. But I will try.

That's about it I guess.

Happy 2014!

Labels: milestones, thoughts, wrapping up