I certainly didn’t see September turning out this way. I was coming back from my trip home, which I didn’t feel super rested because for some reason things dragged out and I found myself with something to do every day. Even if I did manage to squeeze out some time for myself to do a bit of trip planning that I owed…I didn’t do much. And there are still many backlogged posts. 

I was feeling a bit stressed though, over a planned hangout session the weekend after I came back, where two of my colleagues were very excited about because they were trying to intro me with someone new - a close friend of colleague A’s. I feel like there are some expectations going in and I didn’t like that feeling, so I was sort of going in on a wrong mindset already. Like I felt like they are enjoying this way more than I do, dropping me reminders about making a good impression and all. Then suddenly things went south, and more. 

First was a call up to attend to work on the exact Saturday we planned to meet - and it wasn’t an enjoyable one because it’s to staff Mdm on her site recce prior to a TV interview - and she was being her usual devil’s advocate self and making a mockery of effort that her own staff has put in for years, without filter. Honestly I don’t know which one was better because I initially felt a tinge of relief and the idea of a shorter hangout session, but yeah, madam. Anyway as a result I had to cancel the first part of the hangout (which was supposed to be bowling) and ask the ladies to come over to Holland V for dinner instead, which everybody accommodated of course. 

Then literally two hours later I was looking at the likelihood of canceling the whole thing altogether, and I actually spent the whole Friday afternoon and night (including an hour on a treadmill) pondering before concluding that yes, I’d make an emergency 24hour trip back home. 

The uncle had passed on, on Friday afternoon. It was just a little over a day since he was admitted into ICU on Thursday morning before he was gone - from what I understand, multiple organ failures after an infection. Honestly details are still sketchy, and I didn’t talk to my cousins much on this topic when I saw them except to be by their side.  

Growing up my uncle probably wasn’t my favourite relative - didn’t help that my mother always reminded me of that one time he insulted me and my short legs as a kid (actually very short meh?!). Our families weren’t close which is weird because my dad and he are the only two siblings that live in this country/town, and we go to the same school as my cousins. And my three cousins are the only ones that are of a similar age range as me and my sister, because the rest of my cousins are all significantly older than us and live in another country altogether. So our relationship with our cousins is friendly, but not as close as we should be. 

When the news came I was contemplating not going back at all. Ticket prices didn’t make much sense at first glance, even redemption tickets were scarce. It was only when more details trickled in (such as the funeral date) that things fell into place in terms of schedule (I needed to be at work on Monday morning), my sister offered her miles too so I took it up and booked the flight back. 

And I was glad I showed up for my cousins who were struggling to come to terms with the sudden loss. Admittedly his health wasn’t the greatest including a minor stroke two months back but nobody expected him to be gone that suddenly. And it was the first time I saw first hand how tough it can get for a minority race trying to go through their rites and rituals when it comes to this - the funeral was a very simple and short affair at the hospital morgue itself (if you had the space at home you could technically stage it at home but my cousins decided not to), and the cremation facility was so primitive that the burning process was in plain sight to all which was to a certain extent horrifying for me. 

So I was glad that I was there to make up the numbers at the funeral - my uncle was the youngest of my dad’s siblings so none of the older siblings can be there, not that any of the surviving ones (I say this because we actually lost an aunt and another uncle within the year) are fit enough to make the trip except my dad, though he obviously is not allowed to. Amongst the cousins two others made the trip from Malaysia, and there’s my sister and I. The least we can do to give him a proper send off. 

My dad did appear to be taking the news in stride - he managed to visit on Thursday after my uncle had been CPR-ed three times to bid his farewells - so I think he felt at peace with the fact. I think, because as usual we don’t talk much about feelings. But this loss has also got me thinking about him and the fact that he really is at an advanced age, more than usual too. 

My mum had taken to visiting my aunt every week so far since my uncle’s passing, which was again something very out of ordinary considering for the most part of our lives we are not in touch with each other. In fact I barely remember ever setting foot at my uncle’s place. And I do think I want to catch up regularly with my cousins from now on whenever I am back - and I am questioning myself why it took this loss for me to have this thought. 

So this sort of sets the mood for the rest of September unfortunately. I think at work I am my usual self at least, including at a couple of ranking sessions. Life went as per normal for the rest of the month in general - there was a trip to JB with ex-colleagues which was surprisingly enjoyable and not awkward, and oh the hangout session got rescheduled so it’s back to stressing about it I guess. 

But I felt like there’s this cloud hanging above me…which should probably pass. 

Final quarter will be hectic I think, with short, medium and long trips planned - and something going on every other weekend. What’s a good adjective starting with O?

Trips this month were a bit of mixed bag, I guess. Penang was nice and fun until the third and last day when I got hit with food poisoning wtf. Didn’t see that coming and it kinda end up defining the trip, sadly, as much as I tried not to let it, because prior to that food was fantastic, sights were fantastic. There was a spillover effect too because even though symptoms subsided by the next day, I didn’t think I was weakened from the ordeal to a point that my gym sessions were horrible. Oh well minor setback. That said, it’s probably not influenced by the food poisoning bout but I do think I’ve seen enough of what Penang has to offer and I’ll probably not be back anytime soon, even as somewhere that I want to relax in or something. 

The second one which is still sort of ongoing is the obligatory yearly one back home. At this point I find myself having some sort of work to do everyday so it wasn’t as chill or as free as I wanted it to be so I do wonder if I’d have time to do my trip planning that I gamely promised my travel partner to. But home is still home, time away from work is still very much appreciated. 

Hasn’t been the most productive days at work this month I feel, muted like it has been for the past couple of months. Welcomed a new staff but bade farewell to another so I’m still a couple short. I do want to highlight the course that I’ve been to though, more enlightening and useful perhaps than the few I’ve been to previously, and very much relatable. I find myself noting down things I want to apply so that is something new to me. 

Other stray happenings - NDP preview on the first day of the month. May have been slightly stressed about who to ask out as my date and in the end didn’t have the balls (or the occasion, really it’d have been like out of the blue) to ask my ideal date, end up settling for safe friend choices sigh. Then there’s a nice catch up with a long lost friend who had settled down in UK, after which we all left wondering why we don’t do this more often (and will probably continue to not do this more often). 

Nothing lined up for September (cue the “wake me up when September ends” line).

I feel like the bulk of the action happened at the middle section of the month? The now mandatory monthly escape, and almost back to back with the sister’s visit. Which kinda reminded me of the last time I was healthy to receive her, because it just felt like a long holiday where I feasted for more than a week. 

This month’s escape as usual was motivated by the annual Service Anniversary time off to clear in July, and the fact that I wanted to get a 1000mile birthday bonus from SQ so it’s a near-ish destination as usual. The bad news is I fell sick the night before I flew and in fact had a terrible night’s rest, the good news is I woke up feeling ok and in fact spent the rest of the day in perfectly good spirits. It did progressively got worse again though I’d still consider the trip overall as a decent one. But it meant I was a bit under the weather the entire week the sister was around, though it also didn’t worsen so I was kind of in limbo for a bit which was a bit irritating. 

So it was also sort of a miracle that despite this, I didn’t miss any PT session. In fact ever since I started this bulking phase I have been doing quite well I think - hitting a PB almost every session in at least one exercise. Which gave me a renewed interest hoping that this is going somewhere. 

Work was kind of uninspiring again in that I attended yet another farewell. By my count this was the 5th one in exactly one year (including one that went for anw change so I did have a readily available replacement) but the whole hiring process has been tiring. Resumes weren’t great and if I wasn’t desperate I probably wouldn’t have let some through, and I am questioning myself if that is wise at the end of the day. 

And speaking of anniversary time offs this marks 14 full years in service. Eventful? Sure is. Do I want more? As shortsighted as that might sound - this is comfortable now and I am not inspired. Ask me again next year.

But I guess with all that’s going on - including the news of a former classmate passing on likely due to exhaustion from work - it’s probably a poignant reminder of the importance of self care. And on that - I didn’t react much to it as much as some of my friends did - because it is a fact that we have not been in touch for the last 20 years and I know very little on what’s going on in his life. I questioned myself if I may have been a bit cold-blooded, but all I felt was 感慨 - that a life gone too soon, and for something that ought to have been preventable. 

August will probably see a similar theme of jadedness so let’s see.

Kinda felt like the pace is a bit slower this month and I have no complaints about that. I obviously started the month on an overseas break and when I returned everybody else seemed to be taking turns to go on break too. And by everybody I meant boss and bigger boss so that explains why things slowed down a bit. 

Trip and reflections I have/will cover in separate posts as usual, then the other milestone of the month is of course turning 37, which meant catching up with the usual few small groups. Sort of glad to be remembered this year - presence over presents - and wishing for consistent health as I told everybody who cared to listen. 

But also not sure why it took me that long to remember how lucrative Kris+ can be during this period where there are upsizes and it’s basically free miles. And I think that line of thought sort of dominated the month - one that I busted a lot of my bonus caps and had to ration and plan a lot including for the months ahead because I have quite a bit of bookings to do for the rest of the year. Reminded me of the house renovation days where I meticulously planned my spendings to maximize my returns. Not sure if that is entirely healthy tbh but it was sort of fun I guess. 

So there’s a lot of letting go in terms of diet and helps that it coincides with bulking season. My weight was being an ass where it didn’t reduce when I needed it to and now it didn’t increase much when I wanted it to lol. Clean bulking is the struggle though, I think it was decent effort on my end but I probably still need to cut back on sugar by a lot if I wanted the phase to be fruitful. What I did enjoy is the significantly higher energy levels during training, when finally start hitting new PBs in most exercises after a few months of stagnation. Shoulder is not getting any better though, I was hoping two weeks of break from exercise would allow it some time to heal completely but reality is I felt that it has now gone back to about 80%? From 90%. I guess the exercises weren’t really affecting it if I don’t feel it too much during the exercises, so I am perplexed as to why it isn’t healing. Something to report back the next month, I guess. 

Hmm yeah…till next month, I guess.

In recent years (and by that I mean since beginning of last year) I’ve gravitated towards more trips but shorter durations - because it works better in keeping me sane I guess. Yet at the same time it made options limited because if I were to go somewhere further (like 6h and beyond) I’d feel that the price isn’t worth it. So there’s still a need for a long-ish trip once in a while, and this one came about for the usual reasons - a birthday flight. 

I didn’t plan for it immediately when the redemptions open, so I was pretty surprised two months down the road when I halfheartedly search for something and found Saver tickets to Japan of all places. Granted it’s KIX and not TYO but that’s a good enough gateway! And it’s during PH, close to school holidays, so I was very perplexed as to why they are not snapped up immediately. But the catch is there isn’t one for the return leg - not on the very specific date I wanted, at least - but there’s a Saver one that involved partner airline, a short transit at TPE, and for a mostly similar price. So it’s a no brainer to quickly transfer in my miles, pray that they are still available by the time the transfer is complete. 

Obviously sitting here now talking about it clearly meant all went well and I am back from the trip. And maybe I’ll just start off by saying that it’s as usual a very enjoyable one - the fact that it’s Japan, the fact that it also ended up to be solo and the bits of solo trip that I enjoyed were in full effect, the way that typhoon ended up having minimal impact on my plans. 

I was actually partly surprised by how I seem to have a renewed fondness of Japan. I’ve had good impressions in the past, so much so that I thought about frequent visits to different parts of Japan in different seasons, because I felt that each season has something unique to offer. But along the way the fondness faded such that I didn’t even think of making trips to Japan in 2024 or 2025 - possibly influenced by how revenue tickets usually weren’t cheap and redemption tickets involve fighting tooth and nail. And I prioritized other places that are easier to get to - Korea, HK for instance. I was more excited about the fact that I’m going on a break rather than the fact that it’s Japan in the lead up. But the moment I stepped onto Japanese territory it’s like all those good vibes suddenly flowed back in, and through the next 10 days I was just soaking it all in again - in awe of everything from the big city energy, the urge to be polite to everybody, how every bowl of food or dessert seemed to have so much heart in it, how pretty every souvenir (food or otherwise) looked, patented Japanese technology that they seem to keep to themselves only such as automated cash registries and above everything - toilet bidets. Like seriously why isn’t everybody buying those? 

I think the other factor that played a big part in the enjoyment is also this was the weakest Yen I’ve experienced in my four visits - and prices don’t seem to have appreciated much (other than accoms) so everything felt so much cheaper. Add on to the fact that some Japanese produced items are naturally cheaper there to begin with so I’ve been quoting this example of how I got this pair of Onitsuka Tiger for $140 against $240 in SG. Perhaps my spending power has also increased, but overall I did end up shopping more than I did and I really was only constrained by luggage space (I had three in the end, which is some sort of record for me too). 

Everyday is sort of tiring though, in a sense that I woke up by 8 every morning and usually end late by 1-2am as I scrolled socmed, plan for the next day, lost my stories. I didn’t feel it at all when I was in Japan, but the crash was very real when I got back and I could barely keep my eyes open the next day so I was very smart to factor in an extra Sunday rest day. Although that was mostly a result of me insisting to fly back on a Saturday, which was my birthday. 

And maybe I guess on this note I’ll add in some thoughts on that? In recent years I’ve kinda dropped the tradition of buying a symbolic birthday gift for myself because I usually end up traveling and the trip itself is the gift. Turning 37 this year and it’s another step closer to 40, I guess at this point everything is really 随缘 - no plans, no failures so no disappointments? Everybody has their own pace and really there’s no need to compare with your peers - something I just told off a friend who feels that she is late as compared to peers who have properly and family etc. And as I told everybody my wish is just for good health because god knows last year was terrible and that was *just* something that I can recover from - imagine if it’s something much worse touchwood. 

So that’s the trip reflections - details and nuggets in subsequent posts and now back to fantasizing short getaways, to Japan too maybe heh.

But back to the presentation - years of experience under my belt and the fact that I know my stuff well meant that I didn’t really have to prep that much - rehearse and all - and just had to familiarize myself with the deck beforehand. What was sort of unexpected for me was how, even with this knowledge, I felt very jittery in the week and especially the two days leading up to it. Perhaps I got carried away by the general tension D was projecting, but I should have trusted myself more. Didn’t like that uneasy feeling but as I said, the sense of relief that came over after was rather satisfying and I was glad to get it out of the way. 

Month actually started with another routine KL trip. Always thought I’d get bored of it soon but still managed to keep it generally packed. Rain Rave Festival kept things a bit interesting in terms of logistical challenges, but after Park Hyatt hotels will always pale in comparison. Moxy was a pretty value for money gem though, and the whole Chinatown area has more to explore so I might dedicate some time here the next time round. 

And that sets me up nicely for Japan! It’ll be covered in the reflections post as usual, along with the series of ten posts or so - sigh days without backlogs are over - and I did manage to cut down to my target weight prior to the trip, though barely but again I’ll take the win. Funnily enough trainer did body check the week before and a weekend later, did a double take claiming that I visibly looked even leaner than the week prior so took another set of photos. I do think visually there’s now an obvious difference in that people are commenting about me slimming down again, even if the stupid body fat percentage is stubbornly slow. Bulking next and I wonder how it’d turn out. 

But I digress. Till next month!

April started with a bang because I finally got away after more than a month in town. Funny how standards are such that one month counts as intolerable these days. And even if it’s somewhere as near as Melaka it still was such a needed escape. 

I was kinda hoping for a bit of catch up with cousins, which was kinda odd for me, but in the end most of them didn’t make the trip and I was awkward as usual so oh well. But I guess I did spend some quality time with my folks so that’s a good thing. And of course ate to my hearts content and plotting a weekend escape here in the near future because…actually it’s very doable? 

The other part of the trip which I was looking forward to, more so than the Melaka leg, was the PH staycation. It was tempting to make this a KL trip but seeing that I’ll be back in about a month’s time anyway for a proper trip I decided to keep this as a proper staycation - so in-house meals and facilities it is. And it was a really good stay I feel, I dig the design ethos and the lengths they go to in order to enforce its consistency. Service could have been more personable, view could be better (because unfortunately it was mostly cloudy and rainy), but can’t complain. The pool was surprisingly what I thought the weak point contrary to what everybody says, because at level 99 I suppose it’s too cold for it to be outdoors? Breakfast was awesome quality. 

Other than that the rest of the month was work as usual. I alternate between annoyance and focus on getting some projects closed (because I was annoyed, ok maybe they are all the same) so it was productive in a way. Just constantly remind myself to not get outlasted hur hur.  

Interestingly got dragged into this colleague group doing a monthlong sit up challenge where we start slow (10 sit ups on day 1) ending with 100 sit ups a day on day 30. It was surprisingly fun and I don’t have trouble with it, except on days where I’ve PT session and I’d be quite knackered by the end of it that I have to breakdown the sit up program into more manageable segments. Oh and speaking of fitness. 

I spent the entire month dealing with a right shoulder injury. It felt like a muscle strain at first but by now it still hasn’t healed so I wasn’t sure now. Granted there was obvious improvements week on week at first but it has stayed on more or less the same state for a couple of weeks now. Having trouble with some rotational movements but I’ve progressed to a state where I can now do weighted pull ups (initially even just hanging on the bar was not doable). Thought of getting it checked out, but eventually decided not to because with our medical system by the time I get scheduled to see a specialist I’m probably alr healed so. Plus it’s not something you can take medicine or something, either surgery (and it’s not so serious I think) or you can just rehab yourself so I guess we can just save the effort. And hopefully by the next update it’d be better. 

May will be fun! Bookended with trips including one that I’ve been looking forward to for a long time (because as usual I booked it long ago) and it’s a solo trip in the end because the sister couldn’t make it eventually. Which means also that I’ve gotta settle quite a bit of work stuff in between, and lock in on the last sprint of my cutting phase. 

Till then. 

Grounded, for one - didn’t fly anywhere for the first time in a while. Which makes it a very work focused month I guess, for good or for worse. Good because I think I got things done, bad because I kinda got into this bad headspace where I kept getting irritated by the leadership and the direction we are heading towards even though it’s nothing new by now. 

And March meant appraisal results, which turned out to be a long drawn process because firstly I had quite a few people to go through, and secondly not everyone is around during that week so I ended up stretching it over almost two weeks. It was mentally draining at first because the heavyweights are quite frontloaded, as usual not everyone is happy with what they got, but on the plus side there’s not much drama this year and I do feel very much at ease talking to everybody despite again not preparing enough (I still forgot some points for some people and only recall them a few days later). 

And my own, well wasn’t spared from the default-but-officially-not-default drop and let’s just say I now fully understand all those people who have been getting their Cs all these years. Bank account definitely didn’t look as pretty, for the first time since 2013. Definitely stung because it was worse than I expected/remembered it to be, and so I think I took it harder than I expected myself to. May we never land here again. 

Being grounded also means I had time to work on myself so resumed cutting phase after CNY feast - and it wasn’t as fast as I thought, at least I felt that the outcome wasn’t proportionate to the effort I put in. Injured shoulder towards the end of the month and it was bothering and affecting my daily life a fair bit, plus the entire month I felt that something was off with my body again though it not severe enough for me to seek medical attention, but something that I am monitoring closely and hopefully get it sorted out next month. 

And all the war nonsense going on, despite actively booking and confirming trips as far as next year there’s this niggling feeling that it may not work out as planned. Just part of all the negativity playing through the entire month, I guess. 

April will start with a bit of travels so maybe that’s the break I need to reset! Fingers crossed.

Which also means I cheated on my diet for almost the entire month because I sort of let loose over the entire CNY period oops. But what I thought was sort of amazing was that the damage is similar to the trip the month prior, considering it was triple the length and very consistent daily high calories. So I figured your body adjusts after a few days and plateaus, rather than just adding 1 or 2 kgs a day or something.  

CNY for me is mostly a form of 仪式感 - there are certain things I need to do every year before flying off, the Bangkok trip which on its own has very standard agendas, and the same few people I ended up catching up with. This year was no different but I did mention a few years back (or was it every year) that with each passing year and reduction in mobility (of my parents) there’s slight changes every year. This year was mostly spent indoors, my dad drank lots of coffee and hot chocolate as usual, we Grabbed everywhere (and stopped paying attention to the prices), paid even fewer visits to temple, and I think we indulged in better food places more often. For me one of the main highlights came very early on in the trip when dad went “Wah!” when I opened the door to our hotel room. Lol it’s a slight step up from our usual price ranges and it’s fairly new and modern and chic, and he liked it. We all do, but it’s rare for him to express it so that’s a win in my books. 

I did get sick of watching arguments take place over minute things though, and i still get affected by it very easily as compared to the sister who is now numb. Regrettably it boiled over on my last night at home, so it was kind of a sour end to the trip. But CNY is CNY, home trip is home trip, it still was a good time overall and this time round I did come back to SG in one piece so I guess all’s good. 

And speaking of which I went for what was supposed to be one final check at the hospital the morning after coming back to SG - and was greeted by validation of a clean bill of health. Everything is perfectly within normal range now and I was beaming from ear to ear by the time doctor was ready to see me. So that paid consultation was more of a chit chat session with minimal snippets of advice, and I even forgot to ask if it’s an opportune time for me to take the vaccine already. Oh well at least insurance paid for that session. But can’t be more glad to move on. 

Back at work, boss came back on the first day of the month and relieved us of all covering duties. And he was looking rather fresh though that freshness didn’t last too long oops - I came back from my break and he was already looking sian again. But again because of short month and my break - there’s very little to say about work in general. Next month will be blockbuster though - hopefully not for wrong reasons.  

Technically this happened in March but since we are talking about CNY here - hosted a gathering for the first time in a while. Granted it was only for a group of 4 in the end but it got me slightly stressed getting the house into a suitable state, which included a pre-CNY spring cleaning which I had wanted to do for a while. But 一分钱一分货la because while this team I found on Carousell was reasonably priced…my chairs weren’t still wasn’t very clean in the end and the stains showed up once dried. Not sure if they tried their hardest already, oh well. Got a pencai and I quite liked it, even though there was a bit of stress cooking it through the claypot. 

I guess I am a bit sorry to see February end because CNY has traditionally been my favourite holiday. Grounded and not flying in March and maybe it’s good time to get some progress in terms of fitness, but well you never know heh heh.

January was kinda madness at work. I still think the 2015 days where I juggled many things at once was the worst ever, so let’s just say I haven’t had such schedules in a while, even if I still generally knock off by 630 everyday. Lower standards I know but yeah. Reason being boss was away for three months, us SMs took turns covering, and I am the flavor of the month, which I kinda knew from the start that it will be a busy one as compared to November and December (duh). It’s like everybody woke up at the same time and decided hey it’s a good time to catch up on this. My record was 8 meetings in a day with my only free time slot being 1-1.30pm, and I was just plain laughing about it instead of being upset or tired, because it sounded so unfathomable how nothing overlaps and it’s really just back to back^8. It did get whittled down to 6 eventually and the one before lunch ended early so I ended up with a proper lunch break. There was also a day when I ended a meeting at 815pm and had to skip a PT session oh well. 

But the good news (I hope) is that boss will be back tomorrow and things should be back to normal (even though as it stands, I have to go in office all 5 days next week so easier schedule my foot. Nah kidding. Objectively January is not a bad month at work but February will be better. 

But it did give me a reason to self declare a mental health break and I’ve been itching to escape somewhere….so I did. Ask me where if you want to know, but all I can say is that while this was a last minute (I spontaneously booked it 10 days before at the peak of my busy schedule) and hectic trip (because I want to utilize every bit of it) it did the trick, and I almost can’t believe it did. Physically tired but mentally recharged. 

And it sort of set me back by a week in terms of weight cut but I recovered it in exactly a week (I was expecting it to take longer since I gained quite a bit from it) so not much harm done in the end, and I am on track to hit my target before CNY. Last lap! 

And yes that’s what I am looking forward to in February. Another break (of course) and CNY had traditionally been my favourite holiday. Fingers crossed I come back from Brunei safe and sound this time round lol.