Okay...so there is less than one month left to exams.

I think I am so used to lagging behind every semester that I pretty much stopped complaining about it already. My knowledge of each module I am taking at the moment is only up to the topics tested for quizzes, even then I don't reli understand what is going on. Don't understand as in any slight variation is good enough to leave me confused. Even though I think one big improvement I have is that I am completing all my graded assignments by myself..as compared to being totally lost last year or last sem.

I wonder if I would ever have a perfect semester when I can read my lecture notes before lecture, come back and revise what is taught, prepare tutorials beforehand, finish assignments all by myself, and start preparing for exams two or three weeks before exams. Just not disciplined enough. But you know what? That is what I have been doing all the time until around 5 years ago.

Not the first time I am saying this but sometimes I really miss my old self. The joy and satisfaction of being able to understand what is going on in class, never falling asleep or even feeling tired and lethargic, and being able to explain to my peers when they dont understand, or even being the source of answers (it is rare) during the playful times when cheating happens in class during tests. As compared to looking completely blank most of the time when I was asked a question. Or pretending to understand when I really don't. I chose to hide my competitive self after secondary school, and now I think I hid it so well that it is lost.

I think last semester was really a case of pure luck. How can I get A- for a module that I don't really understand what is going on at all? How can someone else who understands what is going on and works harder consistently score lower than me? I dont understand. But whatever the case is, I don't think it will work this time round. 4 quizzes so far and messed up every single one of them. I don't practise enough too. So I am usually slow and can never finish even a quiz.

Okay enough ramblings for the day and ended up saying nothing much about the topic. But you know the drill anyway - projects, assignments, meetings, hall. Only slightly more than one month left to home!

Labels: emo