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十年
posted : Saturday, December 26, 2015
Posts like these are the hardest to write because so many memories just come flooding back and thus the disorganization. But here goes.
Said it a few times..but can't believe it has been 10 years.
My mom used to say that she regret sending me to SG. Can't remember why or under which circumstances she said it, but I sure never regretted. Not even once. I would not trade this experience for something else.
True, McNair started out as a disaster. But it's livability gradually improved. We even started appreciating the pool (a.k.a pond) there. We even made friends with the Cedar Girls which we didn't really like at first. And at the end of the day, we earned something valuable there - the friendships (and relationships) we forged there. Some of them have drifted away as new priorities and friendships form, some have irreconcilable differences like how usage of a rice cooker is more important than friendship. But the memories stay. At least for those two years - we helped each other settle down in this foreign environment, and truly enjoyed each other's company while at that.
Some people were lamenting the fact that they got posted to SA. They have travelled this far, they have beaten out all the elites in their hometown to land this scholarship, and they believe they deserve the so-called more prestigious schools. They whined, on and off, for two years. Not me. I am perfectly happy with where I ended up with. I have been fighting my entire life so far. I was sick of competition and constantly looking back to see if people are catching up. So this environment suits me well. Safe to say I wasn't trying my hardest, though there were points when I doubted if my best would suffice. Even though A levels was the period when psoriasis showed up for the first time in my life.
They say JC is the toughest period in your life and university would be a breeze. For me at least..its the complete opposite. My 4 years in uni were definitely the toughest years.
The course I ended up studying wasn't my first choice, even though the uni was. In the end I decided, probably a bit myopically, that the choice of uni was more important and I could live with the course. I ended up struggling through it because huge chunks of it wasn't exactly my passion - structures were a nightmare, geotech was fine I guess, project management was not bad but my only real interest was transport. Which was why I liked my final year design project a lot. But yea. For most part of the first three years I wasn't enjoying it. I remember feeling very depressed in year 1 sem 2 - people around me were understanding and finding EG1109 - the bread and butter of civil engineering - doable, while it didn't make any sense to me. I panicked. When I looked back I was very sure this was when the button was pushed and triggered off a full scale psoriasis attack - summer vacation that year during float was when more and more spots appeared and it never really went away.
Speaking of float - I am not sure why I made accommodation a much bigger deal than it should be. I stressed over hall points - doing more so that I can get enough points to secure hall accommodation, secure rooms. I probably got caught up in the so-called hall spirit. Probably trying to recreate something I had in McNair. Seems laughable now that when I looked back - hall doesn't hold much significance. The only moments I missed from hall was both years of float - how we came together to complete the impossible.
All these added up to a huge battle but I came through it. I like to think that it made me stronger. So I am still thankful for it.
Then we move on to the last few years when I started working.
In many ways work was an eye opening experience. You are no longer in school. The problems are all very real. The politics is real. You literally meet all sorts of people. Those who only do the minimal. Those who don't even do the minimal and expect to smoke through. Those who only know how to cover backside. Those who only know how to blame others. Those who like to use back doors. Learnt so much as compared to school. Particularly this last year. Learnt to see things from others perspectives, because some things that came naturally to me may not necessarily be the case for others. Learnt to lower my expectations if necessary. Learnt different ways of handling people.
I am glad that I got this job, actually. Thankfully there's passion to continue in this field, which makes it a lot bearable. Financially I think I am pretty comfortable, given that I only really need to support myself. I truly didn't expect to be in this position at this point in my career, but now that I am, again, just got to deal with it.
Outside studies and work...I count myself lucky for having a close companion from home in SG throughout the first 9 years. These days I have lots of me time...I was never those sociable ones that needed someone to go out with every weekend, though I would gladly make time if I am being asked to accompany. I am perfectly fine with doing things alone, eating alone. Guess that's why I am still single sigh.
To sum up..I am glad to have the chance to venture out and live my own life. Have handled life problems and learnt a lot out of it. SG has its own sets of disadvantages - high living costs being one - but it never really bothered me much. Moving on - do I see myself here 10 years later? Can't be sure - there's always familial commitments. But I won't say it's impossible.
For now, thanks for the experience, and memories.
Labels: milestones |
