Singapore National Day today…well earned a well-deserved 4 and a half day break…but yea, you guessed it…I can only afford half a day of slacking and the rest…well, I seriously need to start studying..Prelims are approaching and as I typed this there are only 17 days left to Prelims…

I guess it is this period of time when people start thinking nonsense and a lot of thoughts start popping up in your mind…what will I do after A Levels? After all, I realize, that A Levels in Singapore has just delayed the painful process of making a decision, a big one that will affect the rest of my life by two years. And as much as I want to remain young and avoid the worries of growing up I know I cant. The decision has to be made. And I hope it is certainly right.

First thing is that what do I want to do? I have a lot of choices, but I know for sure that doctor is certainly not my choice. Yes, probably I will disappoint a lot of elders and probably even my own parents who laid a great deal of hope on me, but no, it is not my choice. Pharmacy, however, is still an option, only that I have to check whether it requires A Level Biology or not, if it simply requires me to take a few additional units in uni and not A Level Bio then I dun mind. Forensic Science is another subject that appeals to my interest, same worries as above, and I have to worry about future job options as well, whether there are sufficient job and pay and stuff like that. But currently the option that seemed most realistic is Chemical Engineering, after all this fits into my current subject combination very well and is part of my reasons of choosing this combi in the first place. Slight chance for Materials Science as well.

Second question, and it is of equal importance as the first. Where? That probably would have to depend on the course I will be taking up. But looking now…I guess I will probably end up in NUS…and I hope my results are good enough for admission. I dun think NUS offers twinning programmes with other universities, coz I reli want to try and study overseas, preferably Australia (since UK is too far and expensive and I hate US). Other options will of course be Australia, as mentioned, or even Malaysia…but as mentioned chances are that I will remain in Singapore.

I hope I will be able to get a scholarship somehow…went for a scholarships talk and exhibition recently and found out that they mostly need excellent results like straight As (well, obviously)…and met a grand senior of mine who is an ASEAN scholar and went on to take on Keppel Scholarships…well she gave us some advice, well basically some scholarships are not looking for the BEST people…but rather the RIGHT people. Which cheers me up a bit since I know I am not reli close to being the BEST…and in this competitive society of Singapore it is rather new to me that there are actually some places who just need the right people but not the best. I dun come from a rich family, but with my sister to support and an increasing age, I understand my parents’ wishes for me to get a scholarship. Which brings me back to the point on my dismal results. To be honest, a result of AABCD is not too bad compared to the rest of the cohort, but is very very far from what I used to get. On one hand, I wanted badly to do well, to relive the moments of glory that I used to enjoy so much last time, but on the other hand the fear of cracking down due to pressure is bugging me. The best way, is of course to relax and don’t pressure myself too much..but since when is this an easy job? Only when u are saying it but not when you actually do it.

Choices. Sometimes it can be so difficult to make a simple decision. Yet this simple decision is going to impact the rest of your life.